Shy child: how to help

A child's shyness is due to his calm temperament, and with age, as they gain experience in communication, children learn to interact with other children and adults. If this feature of the baby does not interfere with his life in any way, then there is no need to make a problem out of it. If a shy child does not communicate with other children or it interferes in kindergarten or school, then you need to help him become more confident.

Shyness or insecurity

Outwardly shy and insecure children behave in about the same way, and in order to understand exactly what state the child is in, it is necessary to understand the reasons for this behavior.

The main reason that leads to shyness is distrust, and it is mainly characteristic of suspicious children. Most often, this is manifested in relation to food.

The reason for the uncertainty is modesty, which is inherent in children who are unhurried, obedient and thoughtful. They become modest because of the fear of doing something wrong, and if they have bad experience, they will step aside the next time and keep silent. Such children need to be often praised for significant successes and achievements, but, most importantly, not to overdo it.

How to help a shy child

In order to help a child cope with their shyness, parents need to adhere to several rules:

• do not put labels on your child, i.e. do not talk about his weaknesses in front of him, you should focus on his strengths, raising this self-esteem;
• invite guests home so that the child, in a familiar environment for him, learns the skills of communicating with other people;
• do not blame the child for being who he is, it is better to talk to him about his feelings;
• let the child understand that he is always safe with his parents, for example, do not let go of his hand in public places until he himself wants to, start a conversation with other children, so that he later joins;
• give the child the opportunity to speak out, share his feelings with adults - if he knows that they are always ready to listen to and support him, he will respect himself more;
• prepare the child in advance for new unfamiliar events for him, discuss what awaits him;
• share their personal experiences with the child, such stories will help the child to be more confident when faced with similar situations.

How to make your child confident

To make a child confident, parents need to believe in him, show that he is special for them, say in difficult moments that he will cope with everything. You should often tell your child that the parents love him. You also need to appreciate the efforts of the baby, regardless of the result obtained, highlight what turned out well, and focus on this.

To raise self-esteem, it is necessary to praise the child for his good behavior and ignore the bad. It greatly affects the self-esteem of criticism from adults, therefore it is necessary to criticize the behavior of the child, and not himself.

Parents need to make sure that praise prevails over criticism, as the former increases confidence, and the latter does the opposite. The more a child hears praise, the more confident he becomes, but praise must also be correct, otherwise he may become dependent on the praise of his parents. To prevent this from happening, you need to avoid praise in a judgmental form, for example, you are the smartest.

You can never insult and offend a child, and also allow others to do it.

Parents should explain that they too can make mistakes and that they also need support in difficult times.

Sometimes it happens that children increase their self-esteem with the help of expensive toys, and parents go to meet them and buy everything that their child asks for. On the one hand, it is important for a child to know that parents, if they have funds, will not spare their finances, but on the other hand, he may become dependent on material things. It is important here not to cross the line, so that it does not happen that money has become a means of manipulation.

The main thing to remember is that if children are constantly surrounded by caring and loving parents who do not spare their time for them, then their self-confidence will only grow every year.