Shy child: how to help

A child’s shyness is due to his calm temperament, and with age, as they gain experience in communication, children learn to interact with other children and adults. If this feature of the baby does not interfere with his life in any way, then there is no need to make a problem out of it. If a shy child does not communicate with other children or this interferes with him in kindergarten or at school, then it is necessary to help him become more confident.

Shyness or uncertainty

Outwardly, shy and insecure children behave in approximately the same way, and in order to understand exactly what state the child is in, it is necessary to understand the reasons for this behavior.

The main reason that leads to shyness is mistrust, and it is mainly characteristic of suspicious children. Most often, this manifests itself in relation to food.

The reason for uncertainty is modesty, which is inherent in children who are leisurely, obedient and thoughtful. They become modest out of fear of doing something wrong, and if they have a bad experience, next time they will step aside and remain silent. Such children need to be praised often for significant successes and achievements, but, most importantly, not to overdo it.

How to help a shy child

In order to help a child cope with his shyness, parents need to adhere to several rules:

• do not label your child, i.e. do not talk about his weaknesses in front of him, you should focus on his strengths, thereby raising self-esteem;
• invite guests home so that the child can learn communication skills with other people in a familiar environment;
• do not blame the child for being who he is, it is better to talk to him about his feelings;
• let the child understand that he is always safe next to his parents, for example, do not let go of his hand in public places until he wants to, start a conversation with other children so that he later joins;
• give the child the opportunity to speak out, share his feelings with adults - if he knows that they are always ready to listen and support him, he will begin to respect himself more;
• prepare the child in advance for new events unfamiliar to him, discuss what awaits him;
• sharing your personal experiences with your child, such stories will help the child to be more confident when finding himself in similar situations.

How to make a child confident

To make a child confident, parents need to believe in him, show him that he is special for them, and in difficult moments tell him that he can handle everything. You need to tell your child often that his parents love him. You also need to appreciate the child’s efforts, regardless of the result obtained, highlight what worked well, and focus on it.

To raise self-esteem, you need to praise your child for his good behavior and ignore bad behavior. Criticism addressed to him by adults has a very strong impact on his self-esteem, so it is necessary to criticize the child’s behavior, and not the child himself.

Parents need to ensure that praise prevails over criticism, since the former increases confidence, and the latter - vice versa. The more a child hears praise, the more confident he becomes, but he must also praise correctly, otherwise he may become dependent on the praise of his parents. To prevent this from happening, you need to avoid praise in an evaluative form, for example, you are the smartest.

You should never insult or offend a child, or allow others to do this.

Parents should explain that they, too, can make mistakes, and that they, too, need support in difficult moments.

Sometimes it happens that children increase their self-esteem with the help of expensive toys, and parents meet them and buy everything their child asks for. On the one hand, it is important for a child to know that parents, if they have the means, will not spare money on him, but on the other hand, he can become dependent on material things. It is important here not to cross the line so that money does not become a means of manipulation.

The main thing to remember is that if children are constantly surrounded by caring and loving parents who do not spare their time for them, then their self-confidence will only grow every year.