Sex after childbirth: psychology, rules when you can

Perhaps there is no more responsible and exciting event in a woman's life than the birth of a child. Behind several difficult months of bearing a baby, pain, tears of joy and sleepless nights. Fortunately, all the hardships associated with the birth of a baby are forgotten quite quickly, and every woman strives to successfully combine the role of mother and beloved wife. Most young parents are concerned about the question - when it will be possible to return to the performance of marital duties and what problems may arise in this case. We will consider the main aspects of sexual activity after childbirth in the article.

How long after childbirth can you have sex

As much as I would like a newly-made mommy return to normal sex life with your beloved spouse, doctors still recommend abstaining from sex for a period of one to two months, regardless of whether the baby was born in natural childbirth or by caesarean section. Of course, this period is very conditional, when determining it, one should proceed from the characteristics of delivery.

Those couples who are in too much of a hurry to return to their marital duties need to know a few points related to the structure and functioning of the female body:

1. The first weeks after childbirth, the uterus (there is a decrease to its usual size) and the vagina are at the stage of cleansing and repairing, internal and external ruptures, if any, are healing. The area to which the placenta was attached to the uterus is a continuous wound and an infection that has penetrated during intercourse will inevitably lead to serious complications - bleeding and inflammation.
2. The vagina stretches a lot during childbirth and it takes time for it to return to its previous shape and size.
3. There is an assumption that it is safe to have sex during a cesarean section, even in the first weeks, because the vagina remains "intact". This opinion is erroneous, because after surgery on the uterus, there is still a place where the placenta is attached and a scar, which takes a certain amount of time to heal.
4. "First sex" does not always bring long-awaited pleasure to a couple. If the body has not recovered enough, penetration can cause discomfort due to the sensitivity of the vaginal tissues - this is quite normal.
5. Due to the low level of the hormone estrogen in the first weeks after the birth of the baby, the young mother does not feel sexual desire for a partner - this is a completely normal reaction of the body.

What kind of sex is possible after childbirth

Surely, there are not many women who, in the very first days after giving birth, passionately desire their spouse. Pain, discomfort and household chores associated with the appearance of a baby push sex and related pleasures to the background. But over time, mom comes to her senses and gets used to a new way of life, more and more often she has thoughts about intimacy.

We have already found out that in the absence of complications, doctors recommend resuming sexual activity no earlier than 4-6 weeks. During this period, the bleeding stops, the scar on the uterus and the ruptures gradually heal. And even if your childbirth went like clockwork, you quickly recovered and are ready for exploits in the sexual field, in order to avoid the occurrence of microcracks on the walls of the vagina, you should still refuse vaginal penetration before the end of the prescribed period.

For particularly impatient couples, there are alternative types of sex, such as oral. If both partners accept this option, you can begin to engage in oral sex within a few days after giving birth, but do not forget about some important points:

1. Oral sex is one of the ways to maintain close relationships during the recovery period, but for this, both partners need to relax and remove the psychological barrier.
2. The main condition for mutual oral sex is hygiene, non-observance of precautions can cause an infection, such as herpes, and inflammation.
3. During clitoral masturbation and orgasm, the uterus is actively contracted, due to this, the restoration of organs is faster.
4. Oral sex, however, like traditional sex, helps relieve nervous tension and normalize hormonal levels, while it is considered the least traumatic.

It hurts to have sex after childbirth

The very process of childbirth for most women leaves an unforgettable experience for a lifetime. Pain, fear, excitement - all negative feelings and emotions associated with the birth of a baby are dulled over time. Young parents get used to the emergence of new responsibilities and they have a desire for intimacy. However, not all ladies have the first postpartum sex brings pleasure. The reasons for the discomfort should be discovered by the gynecologist during the examination, if necessary, he will offer the patient to take tests or do an ultrasound. The most common physiological causes of pain are:

1. Insufficiently healed wounds and microcracks in the vagina. The problem arises if the spouses are too hasty with the renewal of intimacy. Doctors, when releasing a young mother from the hospital, recommend postponing this issue for 1–2 months, despite the fact that there were no serious complications for the woman's health during childbirth. Pain can also be felt when the partner is excessively rough and harsh during penetration.
2. Unprofessional sutures in the perineum are another cause of pain. Unfortunately, in this situation, surgical intervention is indispensable.
3. The prohibition on sexual intercourse for the first couple of months also applies to those spouses whose baby was born by caesarean section. With excessive friction and pressure, the scar on the uterus can cause severe discomfort for some time. It is necessary to wait until the uterus returns to its previous size and the area of ​​attachment of the placenta to it heals.
4. Insufficient lubrication during intercourse can lead to vaginal dryness. The solution to this problem will be the use of special water-based lubricants. In an extreme case, the way out of the situation is hormone therapy, carefully selected by a specialist.

Anal sex after childbirth

Another "unconventional" type of sexual intimacy, which, it would seem, is available to spouses during the recovery period is anal sex. But is it safe for the body of a woman who has undergone severe stress?

If you have previously practiced anal sex and enjoyed it, there is no guarantee that you will enjoy it after giving birth. Experts categorically prohibit this option of intimacy if it gives the partner pain and discomfort, as well as when there are direct medical contraindications:

1. Hemorrhoids - having such a problem, a woman is unlikely to want anal sex, not to mention what consequences can await her - trauma and inflammation of the hemorrhoids causes severe bleeding, which can become a threat to life.
2. Perineal tears if the rectum and sphincter are damaged.
3. Anal fissures - due to penetration, they may enlarge. In addition, the likelihood of infection is high. The inflammatory process will require long-term treatment, and in severe cases, surgery.

Based on the above, we can conclude that anal sex no less traumatic than vaginal. The consequences for the sake of a few minutes of pleasure will have to be eliminated for a long time. In any case, it will be useful to conduct an examination with a gynecologist and ask him all your questions.

Blood after sex after childbirth

Normally, some discharge may appear within 6 weeks after delivery. If a married couple practices early sex after childbirth, one of the unpleasant moments may be a little bleeding or even bleeding. This is a sign that the decision was taken hastily and sex should be postponed for at least a couple of weeks. If the problem does not resolve over time, you need to urgently consult a gynecologist, because there are several serious reasons for this phenomenon:

• injury to the cervix during delivery;
• blood clots remain in the uterus, so it cannot contract to its normal size;
• if, in addition to blood, discharge with an unpleasant odor appears, an infection can be assumed.

You should know that the bleeding that has opened cannot be eliminated on your own. An urgent need to call an ambulance team, because inaction can become a real threat to a woman's life.

Sex after childbirth sensations

The sexual life of a married couple after childbirth is shrouded in a whole veil of myths, often quite absurd. Someone claims that after the birth of a baby in the process of sexual intercourse, they do not experience the same emotions, others claim that they have only now felt a taste for sex due to the sharply increased libido. However, this is rather an exception to the rule, and often a woman feels some psychological discomfort that prevents her from relaxing and reaching the highest peak of pleasure.

1. A spouse in no case needs to persuade his beloved woman to have sexual intercourse without her desire. Some men may take rejection too personally, but the reason in this case is often trivial - it is a subconscious fear of pain after suffering during childbirth.
2. Another reason that a woman does not want physical contact with a partner is the usual fatigue, getting used to the baby and the new way of life. If at the same time the spouse does not take part in the household chores and caring for the baby, it is quite understandable that the other half will not understand and become irritated.
3. Complexes associated with a change in the appearance of a young mother are the next factor affecting the establishment of an intimate life for spouses. Many women begin to feel ashamed of their own bodies, which naturally translates into mutual discontent in the bedroom.
4. Another psychological reason is the cultivation of motherhood, when the spouse is completely focused on the baby, forgetting about the needs of her husband, rejecting his affection and offers of intimacy. In some difficult cases, only a qualified psychologist can deal with this problem.

I don't want sex after childbirth

"I don't want sex!" - often the realization of this is a surprise even for the woman herself, who has not previously experienced such emotions. To begin with, both spouses need to accept this problem, identify the reasons for themselves and try to eliminate them on their own, and the following tips can help them with this:

1. Learn to relax and abstract yourself from household chores, use every opportunity to relax and get some sleep.
2. Try new alternative options for sexual intimacy, explore your body and the body of your partner.
3. Try to find time for sex in your busy schedule. Start getting out of the house at least for a little while - be it a romantic walk in the park or a movie trip.
4. Encourage your spouse's desire to deal with the baby, then you will have a free moment for your beloved.

Husband doesn't want sex after childbirth

If everything is more or less clear with a newly-made mom, then a spouse who does not want to satisfy his wife's sexual needs is perceived as nonsense. In fact, men have their own reasons to "get sick":

1. "Postpartum depression" father- a condition in which it is difficult for the head of the family to accept the changes that have occurred in connection with the appearance of a child in the home. This is often expressed in rudeness and irritation in relation to the spouse and indifference to his child.
2. A kind of jealousy due to the fact that the woman devotes most of her time to the baby.
3. The presence of a husband during childbirth can be a real psychological trauma for him. It is highly likely that he will cease to perceive his wife as an object of desire.

How to overcome this condition?

First of all, remember that any intra-family conflict must be resolved together. Even in the absence of a lot of free time, try to spend it together. Do not put off solving the problem indefinitely, because sex is an important component of family well-being.