Husband has a mistress: what to do and how to be

There are a great many reasons for treason - the coldness of the second half, everyday troubles, a lack of mutual understanding. Whether to forgive betrayal of a loved one, every woman decides for herself. But before conducting an "investigation" there, she must understand what to do with the truth later - to close her eyes, to part with her husband, or to try to save the family and take steps to strengthen it.

How to find out that there is a mistress

If you really want to find out if u have husband mistress, then try to remain completely calm so that he does not have suspicions about your guesses. Just watch, show no particular interest in late returns home and frequent business trips. Watch his speech, the main puncture that a man makes in a similar situation is calling his wife by a false name.

Here are the main signs by which you can suspect a loved one has a new passion. Each of them individually is not evidence of cheating, you need to take into account the whole picture, including the level of your relationship at the moment.

1. The first call is usually the constant absences of a business trip. First of all, carefully find out if there is actually such a production need, or if the rush at work is a spouse's invention.
2. Another reason for suspicion arises when the husband is constantly delayed at work, and the family budget is not replenished, but on the contrary, the income decreases. Of course, you can ask a question head-on, but this will not change the essence. Be careful when asking your spouse about the work situation of his friends and colleagues, but do not insist too much so as not to reveal yourself.
3. The appearance of a sweetheart in a loved one cannot but affect behavior change. Most likely, he will become colder and more indifferent, he no longer cares about the problems of his family and wife. And sometimes the situation develops the other way around - a man feels a sense of guilt and tries to make amends, paying more attention.
4. If you have husband lovers often he begins to "clean the feathers" more often and more thoroughly, he is very concerned about the appearance and wardrobe, especially if the passion is younger.
5. Coldness in bed or constant excuses for fulfilling marital duty always make any woman suspicious. If recently you avoided having sex with your spouse, now he himself does not show the initiative. Sometimes men who are especially active in this regard have time to perform feats in the sexual field both at home and with their mistress. But then he may suggest you new positions or experiments that he has already tried with another woman.
6. Pay attention to the details - to the smell of other people's perfume, to phone calls, gifts and souvenirs that are supposedly presented by friends. All these little things can talk about treason.

What to do if the husband has a mistress

So, you found out that the husband still got a mistress, and a reasonable question arises, what to do next? To begin with, you should cry, and then sit down and think well about the future. In this position, it is easy to break wood, but pull yourself together, if you want to save the family, do not make scandals and scenes, do not stoop to insults, this will only push the man away.

Do not despair and do not withdraw into yourself, if possible, distance yourself from the situation, live with your parents, change the decor in the house, wardrobe and develop with your friends. This pause is necessary for any deceived woman in order to weigh all the pros and cons of living together and determine the further scenario, and there are only three of them:

1. The fight for the husband. If you sincerely love a man and are ready to forgive all insults without harboring evil in your soul, reflect on what is your fault? Why is he looking for happiness on the side? Perhaps he lacks vivid feelings in family life and is tired of everyday life. Or with you, his self-esteem has dropped sharply and now he wants to prove to himself and to everyone around him that he is able to seduce a beautiful woman. It happens that there are no feelings between lovers and they meet only for the sake of quality sex. In any case, you will have to work in two directions - self-improvement and innovation in relationships. Start with a change in appearance - get fit, buy a subscription to a fitness room or pool, make new interesting acquaintances. Think about your spouse's taste for women, it might be worth changing your haircut, hair color or style. Behavior should match appearance. Stand in the eyes husband a strong, confident, independent woman, then he will look at you from a different angle.
2. If cheating is not an acceptable thing for you and you want to quickly resolve the issue of divorce, do not wait. Do not forget about the financial issue, according to the legislation, exactly half of everything acquired belongs to the spouse. It is better to entrust this to an experienced lawyer. Property problem is not the only one that can arise during a divorce proceedings. As a rule, a woman who finds out about infidelity loses faith in herself, she has complexes about her appearance and a sense of guilt. There is nothing wrong with this, because negative experience is also an experience, you just need to try not to make typical mistakes in the next relationship.
3. Nowadays, many married couples, after information about connections on the side, continue to live together and at the same time have mistresses and lovers. There can be a lot of reasons: joint children, property, business. Sometimes it is easier for people to endure infidelity and continue living in a triangle than to deal with divorce litigation. Why not, if it suits all parties.

How to get a husband back from his mistress

How to return a husband to a family? Tips from a professional psychologist:

1. remember, that a family and the wife, always remain in the first place, and the mistress is assigned a secondary role, otherwise, the other woman would have already received a marriage proposal. Since this does not happen, all is not yet lost, perhaps the spouse is trying to prove something to you or take revenge on you.
2. You must return the lost feelings of your husband, but do not make sudden movements so as not to frighten him off. If you suddenly meet your loved one in stockings and new lace underwear, he may suspect that you know about cheating. The wife will only be nervous, cause feelings of guilt and pity, the man will find himself in an uncomfortable situation.
3. Give your spouse an opportunity to relive old feelings and emotions. Remember old traditions, invite him to a romantic dinner, or invite him to revisit his favorite movie.
4. Take care of your appearance and self-education, allow easy flirting with a stranger, but overdo it. If you become attractive prey for "males", the husband will look at you with different eyes.
5. Praise your loved one, ask him for advice and suggest ways to solve problems yourself, but unobtrusively. Prepare a delicious dinner and welcome him from work in a good mood.

How to take revenge on your husband's mistress

1. If you find out that a certain lady does not mind spending time with your dear spouse, while you have mutual acquaintances, try to spread unpleasant rumors about her, no woman will like that others will discuss her personal life and put it in a negative light.
2. Knowing that your husband is going on a date with a new passion, try giving her a note, for example, by putting it in the glove compartment of your car. Just do not insult and threaten her, a message with a jacket will work much better.
3. Disrupt the meeting of a loved one with his girlfriend, announcing that you urgently need male help.
4. If, nevertheless, the mistress managed to take her spouse out of the family, repay her in kind. Track down her ex-husband or boyfriend and have an affair with him or just flirt. This will surely affect the self-esteem of the lover.
5. Find out the address of the mistress husband, write an obscene word on her door or put her number in a dating ad.