A spoiled child: how to avoid mistakes

Every parent loves their child and wishes the best for him. True, the methods of upbringing are different for everyone: someone believes that you cannot grow up a good person without strictness, others, on the contrary, go to extremes and begin to indulge a child immensely. How to find a middle ground, becoming not a despot for a child, but a friend and at the same time, without raising a sissy out of him?

Spoiled child: signs

Contrary to popular belief, fathers spoil their children just as much as mothers.

You can understand that mistakes were made in raising a child by a number of signs:

• Your child is despotic, trying to achieve his goal by any means: crying, hysteria, screaming - all means are good for a spoiled child.
• Too strong a manifestation of emotions, irritation, denial of all the rules that parents are trying to establish.
• The kid asks for attention, does not want to play alone, requires the constant presence of adults. Nevertheless, he must certainly be in the spotlight.
• If a child is dissatisfied with the slightest restriction of his rights, he tries to do everything out of spite: spoils things, breaks toys.
• Greed and selfishness. If the child is alone in the family, he quickly gets used to the fact that all the best goes to him. This threatens with problems in communication with peers. In this case, it will be helpful if mom and dad show an example of how good it is to share something with others, because next time they will share with you.
• Another sign is that the child does not show independence in anything. He relies on adults in everything, if he is offended, he can be bluff. Nevertheless, if you delicately adjust the baby's behavior, the situation will improve over time.

What spoils a child

The main mistake that parents make when raising a child is excessive custody of him. Not a single child is born spoiled; people who love him inspire a feeling of permissiveness. If adults are constantly entertaining, vying with each other to offer books, toys, sweets, the baby immediately understands who is the boss here. Convincing him can be difficult.

When raising, it is important to learn to separate the natural desires and needs of the child from whims... Ask why he needs what he asks for. It is also necessary to develop tolerance in him. Often, if a child wants to play, we drop everything and start playing with him. Calmly explain that you are busy, but make sure to take some time later. By teaching your child to be patient, you teach him to value communication with people and to respect them.

Another big mistake is that usually the child is treated as a helpless creature, touched and lisp. Meanwhile, even a very baby is a person, besides, the child feels everything perfectly and is not at all opposed to taking advantage of the weakness of adults.

How not to spoil your child

So that the child does not grow up to be capricious and spoiled, it is important not to overdo it yourself. There is no need to try to please in everything and do everything for the kid, let him gradually learn to be independent. The child must do what is appropriate for his age.

Have a conversation with your grandparents. If parents prohibit something, then they should not indulge. The parenting strategy must be developed by the whole family, otherwise the baby will simply be confused. The child must learn to cope with his emotions, difficulties and understand that the world does not revolve around him.

But, having started re-education of the baby, also do not overdo it. A small person may think that they have stopped loving him, and therefore they began to prohibit everything. Do not be afraid to be affectionate, just patiently and calmly explain to your child that you love no less than before, you just do not approve of some of his actions.

Of course, pampering a child is necessary, and this is quite normal. You need to take him in your arms, say how you love him, give gifts. It is only important not to put the baby in the center of the family, to make him understand that he must take into account your interests as well.

You also need to take into account that the emotional instability of a child is not always a sign of being spoiled. The reasons may well be in an unfavorable psychological environment at home, as well as in congenital or acquired diseases of the nervous system, or this is a signal that it's time for a crisis.