How to break up with a boyfriend
A happy beginning of a novel does not always mean the same happy ending - a wedding, a family, the birth of children. Unfortunately, even with mutual and sincere feelings, people are not able to get along together. Affects the difference in character, upbringing, temperament. Sometimes the relationship simply cannot develop further, and they bring only endless resentment and clarification to a guy and a girl - who is right and who is wrong. What to do when the question of parting rises squarely? How to get over the gap with minimal losses?
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How to break up with your beloved boyfriend
In order not to get depressed when parting with a loved one, psychologists recommend going through a few simple steps.
Step one is rethinking. In a calm atmosphere, think and discuss with your significant other, but is this really the final breakup? Perhaps in relations have come to a crisis or is fatigue affected? Each of you must answer yourself and each other some questions. How promising is your novel, is there a logical development in it? Do your feelings bring mutual pleasure, a sense of harmony and security? If not, then the relationship is most likely doomed to fail. This happens especially often when a man is legally married. You can hope and wait as long as you like, indulge yourself with the illusions that one day a man will abandon his wife in your favor, but this happens very rarely, and you cannot build happiness on someone else's misfortune.
Step two is the point in the relationship. Finally, you understand that it is necessary to break this endless circle of reconciliation and parting. In this case, most lovers act shortsightedly, take in more air in their chest, blur out the last word in one breath and leave. In fact, they again and again give a chance to their hopeless relationship, hoping for the best, but nothing changes, time passes and with it dreams of a happy future and the opportunity to find a good match melt away.
Evaluate the situation soberly, the decision must be made consciously within yourself. Try on the role of a single woman, because for a while it will be so. But you still need to come to this, get along with the idea that a particular person will no longer be around.
Sometimes it seems that nothing good awaits ahead, fate will no longer bring it to the right person, then it is very difficult to make an objective choice. The girl does not want to leave her comfort zone, but the sooner you understand the need for positive changes in your life, the sooner they will begin.
Step three is the moment of parting itself. Sooner or later, a moment comes when it is simply necessary to convey to a person the idea of an inevitable break. It is important to speak decisively and firmly here, otherwise your words will not be taken seriously. In addition, often men begin to resort to certain manipulations, pressure on pity, appeal to conscience, remember the past, pleasant moments together. In moments of hesitation, think about the fact that the old ideal relationships and bright feelings cannot be returned, they are gone forever.
How to break up so as not to hurt the feelings of a former lover? The answer cannot be unambiguous, because it is difficult to predict the behavior of the interlocutor. Still, there are general rules. Meet with the guy in person, messages or phone calls are inappropriate in this case. You should not express your emotions too vividly, cry, demonstrate your depressed state, all this does not contribute to establishing contact, stay as calm as possible. You will not achieve the desired effect if you try to soften the blow by calling the man affectionate words or letting go of memories. Be firm and confident, announce your decision so that the guy does not want to argue with you or appeal to feelings.
Step four - life after breaking up. Get ready for the fact that the first time after the breakup you will begin to worry with renewed vigor, you will want to try to return everything, start over. Only positive moments and pleasant hours spent alone will be remembered. The question will arise, whether we used all the chances to maintain the relationship, the decision to leave will be questioned. Drop these thoughts, the next reconciliation will be painful for both. Everything that prevented you from being together will again loom on the horizon, you will have to go through the previous grievances again. Let this step be painful, let yourself cry and suffer, your loved ones will definitely support you on the way to a happy future.
How beautiful it is to part with a guy
Many girls making decisions about breaking off a relationship with a young man are wondering how to do this so as not to hurt another person. After all, we all want the novel to remain in our memory as a pleasant time spent together. How can you maintain friendly relations? If you do not want to offend a man, do not offer friendship immediately after talking about parting, because for him it will sound humiliating, like a mockery.
Let the guy come to his senses, get used to the idea that you are no longer together, perhaps he himself will offer you companionship when the mental wounds heal a little. Unobtrusively hint that after the breakup you do not want to lose it and would be glad to see him among good friends. Another thing is that men do not really believe in friendship after love, and seeing you after everything that has happened will be a painful test for him.
How can you part beautifully without hurting the man?
- Before announcing your decision to a guy, evaluate how ready he is for such a step. If there were no global problems in the relationship and the main reason is departed love, most likely, the break will be difficult for both parties.
- To soften the blow, you can carry out preparatory work, try to see each other as little as possible, behave cold and unapproachable. But it's not a fact that such tactics will work, your behavior can do a disservice and negatively affect your reputation.
- The most honest thing will be to just talk heart to heart and express everything honestly and directly, you need to do this tete-a-tete. Choose a meeting place that is neutral and uncrowded. If you make an appointment in a restaurant or cafe, then it is likely that you will not want to say goodbye. It is advisable to limit communication and set aside a short period of time for the conversation, for example, say that you have urgent and urgent matters. It is not worth announcing a decision on the day when a guy will have to deal with a difficult and responsible business.
- Do not embellish the reasons for the breakup, it is best to tell the truth right away. In doing so, avoid open conflict and scandal. If the other party wants to quarrel, continue to behave calmly and confidently, answer the questions in monosyllables.
- Don't blame your ex or remember past grudges. Why is this a showdown if they have already exhausted themselves. Just restrainedly thank the man for everything and make it clear that you are not his enemy.
How to get over a breakup
No one will argue that it is very difficult to let go of a person who was close and dear yesterday, and sometimes this idea seems impossible. But understand, the longer you cannot make up your mind, the more the situation worsens, the relationship deteriorates, mutual claims accumulate, and the option of parting with good friends becomes unrealistic. When feelings for a man bring only discomfort into your life, and not something bright and positive, it's time to pull yourself together and not cling to a doomed romance without a happy ending.
But how to get through this period in life so as not to fall into a deep depression and start enjoying every day again? Follow the advice of psychologists, and you will definitely succeed.
- The most important thing in such a situation is the emotional attitude. Realize that the gap has occurred, the person will no longer be around, but nothing terrible has happened, this is not the end of the world, thousands of people have gone through a breakup and subsequently found a soul mate. Open the door to the future, where a lot of new acquaintances and pleasant meetings await you.
- If nothing came of another attempt to return the guy, do not humiliate yourself and do not bother with calls. Don't picture a happy life with your ex in your imagination, and don't remember the past. You make yourself worse, pity and heartache will wake up again.
- Limit all communication with a man, do not seek meetings and avoid places where you could meet him. Stop hanging out with mutual friends for a while so that you are not reminded of a failed relationship. Remove all contacts from your phone so you don't get lost at every signal from your gadget. Get rid of things that remind you of an unsuccessful romance, delete joint photos.
- After the breakup, you will free up a lot of time for yourself. Do not waste it on self-flagellation and searching for the reasons for the breakup. Now you are free, you can go to a meeting with your friends and go shopping at any time. To distract yourself, take up a career or sports.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk with your friend or mom. Negative emotions need to be thrown out to make it easier on the soul.
- Treat yourself to pleasant little things every day. If you want to change your image or go on vacation with friends, do not deny yourself this. Take a break from your daily routine and allow yourself to be happy.