Tyrant husband: what to do and how to recognize it even at the stage of relationship

At the stage of the candy-bouquet period, a woman, as a rule, is blinded by romantic feelings and is not able to objectively perceive the personal qualities of her chosen one. Only when she is already married does an unpleasant insight and realization come - the spouse is not at all the same person as he was before. A little later, the girl recalls the actions and behavior of her boyfriend, in which the features of a tyrant were clearly visible. How to avoid a fatal mistake and not pay off with long years of health and nerves? And what if you connected your life with a tyrant?

How to recognize a tyrant

The main feature of a tyrant is the desire for submission and power over people. This does not mean that he will physically abuse his wife. Sometimes such people act with their own methods of psychological violence. The tyrant tries to control absolutely all spheres of life, suppressing the partner with endless reproaches, instructions and lectures.

The reason for this is always found - the woman's appearance, her manner of speaking, dressing, expressing her opinion. Man does not accept excuses and refusals, skillfully manipulating the victim and keeping her in fear, cultivates a sense of guilt and in every possible way lowers the self-esteem of a loved one. The despot never looks for the reasons for failure in himself, but only in the people around him. The spouses of such men usually await his return from work with fear, thinking with horror about the next bullying, moral or physical.

How to recognize a family tyrant?

• In the early stages of a relationship, pay attention to how your lover speaks of other people - ex-lovers, relatives, friends, and colleagues. If he is inclined to blame them and assert himself at someone's expense, this is the first alarm bell and it is worth taking a closer look, because time will pass and you will become a new victim of tyranny.
• Under the guise of extreme concern for you, the hidden family despot requires a full account of the day spent, of all meetings, calls and conversations, right down to the exact time. Refusal is perceived by him as humiliation and insult and can cause an uncontrolled outbreak of aggression.
• In order to establish indivisible power over a woman, already at the first stage of the novel, the tyrant demands a complete refusal to communicate with male friends, too lively girlfriends and even parents. For him, a situation is unacceptable when you go to a holiday or corporate event without him, do not report on phone calls or evening gatherings with a friend.
• For all the troubles, the tyrant blames his former women, friends, boss. Get ready for the fact that after marriage he will take out dissatisfaction with life on you, it is quite possible - it will be assault.
• When a man is inclined to make decisions without asking your advice or even informing him, most likely he will lead an authoritarian policy in marriage, not recognizing anyone's opinion. Trying to rectify the situation, the woman will run into insults and attempts to humiliate her.
• To assert himself at your expense, the tyrant does not need a good reason at all, he will find it anyway. The best way to do this is to humiliate the weak, especially when you are materially dependent on him.

What to do if the husband is a tyrant

When the situation becomes critical, your spouse regularly bullies and beat you, the best solution would be to leave him as soon as possible. It is not always that wives who are subjected to domestic violence are capable of sensibly assessing the consequences of their infantilism and unwillingness to change something. The aggressor cannot be changed; at best, qualified psychologists, psychiatrists and narcologists will help him, but you can make your life together by observing some of the recommendations:

• It is naive to believe that female can fight on a par with an angry man and give him a worthy rebuff, but if there is an opportunity to enroll in self-defense courses, do it.
• Do not get fooled by manipulation when you see the anger of the faithful, it is better to leave him for a while, not to enter into negotiations, but simply leave.
• Organize yourself a room with a secure internal lock, in an emergency, you can take refuge there and call for help.
• Talk to family and close friends to see if they can help rid you of the tyrant.
• Family dictators, as a rule, want to look like ideal husbands and fathers for everyone, so publicity is sometimes the most effective way.
• Remember, you are unlikely to help your once loved one to become a normal member of society, all measures against violence give only a temporary effect.

How to get rid of the tyrant's husband

If you have made a firm decision to leave your spouse-dictator, then we advise you to stock up on strength and patience, because the aggressor is able to make every effort so that his victim does not slip away, therefore psychologists recommend developing a plan of action in advance to get rid of the tyrant.

If you no longer have the strength to endure, and physical impact is added to the moral destruction, run as fast as possible. Talk to your parents and friends, perhaps for the first time they will shelter you and in which case they will rebuff your tyrant husband. In the future, try to avoid personal meetings with him, and conduct all negotiations regarding the dissolution of marriage and the division of property only through the courts.

When the situation in the family is not critical and the spouse is limited to verbal humiliation, the woman has the opportunity to ponder the further course of events. The main thing is to lull the tyrant's vigilance for a certain period, without discrediting yourself in any way.

Don't let them know that you are dreaming of a divorce. Family despots, as a rule, prefer that the wife sit with children and not have the opportunity to earn money, because this way they increase their own importance, so take care of the financial issue. Motivate your desire to help your spouse financially, money-hungry tyrants are usually captivated by this idea. It would be ideal to find a part-time job in secret from men, so you will have the opportunity to slowly save money for a new life.

Try to keep your peace of mind and be distracted to the maximum, loading yourself with work and deeds. And the last thing: those women who are still not confident in their abilities should talk with their friends in misfortune who have already taken a difficult step. Most of them say only one thing - "It's a pity that I didn't dare to do this earlier."

Tyrant husband: advice

The tyrant husband, as often happens, is not yet the most terrible phenomenon in family life. It is much sadder if a person with the habits of a dictator often kisses the bottle. When the situation cannot be resolved instantly and it takes you a certain amount of time to start a new life, the advice of professional psychologists usually helps:

• In order to coexist more or less peacefully with an alcoholic and an aggressor, never make fun of his personal qualities, shortcomings or addiction, this will only aggravate the problem and give you a reason to raise a hand against you. The craving for the potion will also increase, because relief for such a man is brought not by family happiness, but by a state of alcoholic euphoria.
• Fear provocations associated with jealousy. Some women in order to annoy the faithful, they deliberately flirt with strangers. The consequences can be the most sad, up to physical injury.
• Trying to shift responsibility for alcohol addiction to a man's parents will not cause him any shame or remorse. Most likely, he will become even more closed in himself and will more often run away to his comrades in misfortune.
• Threats of divorce and deprivation of the rights to children are valid only for a short period of time, while the man still has feelings and notions about family values. In the worst scenario, blackmail will become another reason for assault.
• Refusing to do household chores or marital duty will surely increase the tyrant's desire to drink and rowdy.