Mistakes in relationships: what they are and how to avoid them
In any relationship, sooner or later, problems and omissions begin. Both a man and a woman have the right to make mistakes, it is worse if they do not want to admit it and correct it. Therefore, in family life, you should not let everything go by itself. If you see that the relationship is at an impasse, you must definitely talk and sort things out in order. Perhaps a list of the most common mistakes of loving couples can help you with this.
Mistakes of men in relationships
It would seem that two loving people should understand each other without words and not make mistakes in relationships. However, it is far from always possible to resolve a disputable situation without resorting to conflicts and mutual reproaches, and all because the thinking of men and women is fundamentally different. And if a girl is sometimes able to understand her lover at the level of intuition, then for him this is an almost impossible task.
If a man intends to keep relations, he should remember the 10 most common mistakes and continue to avoid them:
- Reluctance to help. It is so predetermined by nature that a man should be stronger, more enduring and more decisive than the representatives of the opposite sex, and they expect this from the chosen one - help, support and protection. Do not think that ladies live a carefree and easy life, every day they have to solve many issues at work and in everyday life. Show participation, without waiting for requests and reproaches, the other half will definitely appreciate it.
- Inability to give compliments. Beautiful confessions and words of admiration are necessary for all women, without exception. You are wrong if you think that she already knows about your feelings. Your loved one needs daily compliments about her appearance or a new outfit, otherwise she will think that you have cooled off to her.
- Indecision. You are constantly in doubt about where to go on vacation and which restaurant is better to go to, shifting the responsibility to your soul mate. Believe me, even in small things, she wants to see you as a decisive man, and not a little boy whose opinion is not taken into account.
- Lack of interest. One of the most common male mistakes is indifference and coldness towards his wife. Coming home after work, many people prefer to relax on the couch in front of the TV, while a woman only needs a couple of questions about how the day went and how she was feeling. Do not neglect these simple rules if you do not want her to feel loneliness and emptiness next to her beloved husband.
- Weakness. In some situations, the girl is waiting for the manifestation of masculine decisiveness and adherence to principles, otherwise she will consider you weaker than herself and will begin to use it. It is not necessary to constantly indulge in whims, sometimes you need to say a firm "no".
- False. Many couples sin by allowing themselves some trickery and deception in the relationship. Guys are mistaken in thinking that a woman does not notice his lies, she feels it on a subconscious level. If insincerity eventually turns into a constant desire to outwit your companion, soon she will simply stop trusting you and start looking for a catch in everything.
- Overconfidence. Some men are confident in their impunity and in the endless patience of their spouse. This is a delusion, everything comes to a limit, and if the number of mistakes you have made reaches a critical level, she will simply leave without clarifying the relationship.
- Indifference. Be more attentive to the feelings and mood of your loved one. She gets tired just like you. Sometimes she just needs to talk heart to heart and feel the support of loved ones. Do not dismiss, but rather listen and give practical advice.
- Constant control. Do not forget that your spouse is a person, sometimes she wants to take a break from problems, be alone with herself or spend time with friends and relatives. Give her the right to a slice of privacy.
- Lack of purpose. A woman is ready to forgive her beloved a lot, even a small lie or indecision. But if you are unable to achieve goals and strive to improve your life together, she will soon get tired of putting up with a weak-willed person next to her.
Mistakes of women in relationships
When a woman falls in love, she is ready to dissolve in a loved one, giving all her love and tenderness, while forgetting about her own “I” and losing her individuality. It is here that she makes her first fatal mistake. No matter how strong your feelings are, always remember that you are, first of all, a person and demand mutual respect for yourself, otherwise you will lose the interest of the other half.
What other mistakes do ladies make when starting a relationship with a young man?
- Feelings of pity. Pity for a man is not the best expression of love. But in the meantime, many women tend to equate these two concepts. The husband raises his hand or abuses alcohol? Doesn't want to take responsibility for the family and is indifferent to his wife and children? All this gets away with it and is justified by the notorious feeling of pity. You need to take a sober look at the situation and your chosen one, because if you constantly show sympathy, then you can make a weak-willed and incapable person out of the second half.
- But love and respect are equal concepts, this is the main key to successful and "healthy" relationships. Believe me, if you respect yourself and are confident in your abilities, your loved one will not allow insults or disrespect towards your spouse.
- Obsession. As psychologists say, there is a distance of 10 steps between two people. If you passed 5, and no one met you at the indicated place, feel free to turn around and leave. You should not get hung up on someone, attention, of course, is nice, but the initiative should come from a man. A constant reminder of yourself, endless calls and messages will alienate even the guy who initially had sympathy for you.
- Addiction. There are several types of addiction. Emotional - gives rise to fear of losing a man, and this, in turn, changes the relationship for the worse, forcing you to be jealous and invent ridiculous reasons for distrust. Material dependence is also a double-edged sword. Of course, you shouldn't try to make more money to prove something on purpose. But any adult, self-sufficient person should have a source of income, regardless of gender. Don't quit your job or sell personal property until you are confident in your lover.
- Interests. Do not abandon them to please your man, do not stop developing, because time will pass, he will understand that without his own opinion you are no longer interested in him as a person and your life together will become boring and mundane. Some women devote themselves completely to their husband and children, however, no one appreciates their self-sacrifice.
- Mercantile spirit. Men do not like it when a girl, first of all, pays attention to his well-being. He wants to find a companion for life, and not the one who will be with him until the first serious problems with money.
- Mind. Say what you like, but the mind in a woman plays an important role. Gone are the days when the main advantage of a lady was a pretty face and a slender waist. Now girls, along with men, can have the opportunity to discuss and conduct intellectual conversations on all sorts of topics. Of course, such people attract more attention than silly, but pretty representatives of the fairer sex.
- Doubt. If a woman is not confident in her beloved and thinks that he is not capable of anything, then this will happen - the man will lose confidence in his abilities and the desire to achieve goals. And on the contrary, if the wife constantly stimulates the spouse for exploits, gives him energy, he has an incentive to move on.
How to avoid mistakes
- Take it for granted - there are no ideal people. Every guy or girl has their own idea of the ideal relationship and life partner, but this does not mean that you will meet him. You, too, are not a princess or a prince on a white horse, look for a person you like and correct flaws together.
- Love yourself and do not give your partner the opportunity to humiliate and suppress you. If you lack self-confidence, change your style and wardrobe, go in for sports, read books and communicate with interesting people.
- Speak honestly and openly. Not every person is able to understand half-hints and read minds, especially men.
- Give each other freedom and personal space. Before relations each of you had your own life, interests, hobbies, friends. Do not give up everything to please someone, so you will lose your own individuality.
- Your partner is not a toy, but a person, with his own plans, dreams and goals. If they do not coincide with yours, you do not need to impose your point of view. Yes, you are different, but perhaps complement each other perfectly.
- There is no need to warm up the relationship with groundless quarrels and scandals, this is very exhausting and deprives the relationship of its original charm and purity. Of course, you need to stimulate your soul mate, but you need to do this in other ways, for example, a pleasant surprise or a joint trip.