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Methods of education and the degree of their effectiveness

by Olga Galaguz - Apr 3, 2017

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Raising children is a responsible business. From what methods of upbringing parents will use in relation to their children, their future directly depends. Of course, after the birth of a child, mom and dad think that their baby will develop harmoniously. But, without proper upbringing, it will be difficult for a child to adapt to society and achieve success. How to raise children correctly?

Parenting Methods

Disputes about the methods of education will probably never stop. There are a lot of them and, accordingly, the views on these methods are too different. The reason for this is the characteristics of countries, nationality and traditions of peoples. For example, the Japanese allow their children to do whatever they want, but only until they are 5 years old. This is followed by a period of upbringing, which is characterized by conventions and many prohibitions, for example, children must unconditionally obey their parents. Since this technique has been developed in this country for many centuries, it is effective, but only in relation to Japanese children. In our country, however, such education will not give positive results. What methods of upbringing are used by parents in our country?

Conversation or persuasion. The effectiveness of this method is undeniable. He says that the child should be calmly explained how he should behave. But this method is recommended to be used in conjunction with others, which we will talk about below.
Positive reinforcement method. What is its essence? Everything is simple enough. Parents should respond positively to a child's good behavior. For example, if a toddler tidied up his room or helped his parents do something, he should receive some kind of encouragement. It doesn't have to be sweets, etc. Sometimes it is enough to praise the child, thank or allow him to watch cartoons for 5 minutes more. That is, the main goal is to reach an understanding of children that there will certainly be a reward for a good deed.
Negative reinforcement method. This method is the opposite of the previous one. More precisely, the negative actions of the child are inevitably followed by negative actions on the part of the parents. It is important to note that parents should show their dissatisfaction only with respect to the specific behavior of their child, but not with him as a person. Most often, such methods of influencing a child are used as punishment, reproach, remark. The punishment can also be different. For example, small time-outs or penalties are very effective in combating child misbehavior. The time-out method is known to everyone - this is a familiar "corner". In cases where the baby is guilty, they put him in a corner so that he thinks over his act. Instead of a corner, the child can be put on the bed and forbidden to get up from it, or not to respond to the child's requests. Of course, the duration of such a method of education should be short. To consolidate the result, after a time-out, it is recommended to have a conversation and calmly talk to a small mischief. Penalties mean prohibitions. For example, a child is not allowed to watch cartoons or go out with friends. It is strictly forbidden to give tasks that should bring the kid pleasure. For example, if a child is forced to collect toys (as a punishment), then this process in the future will only bring him negative emotions and, accordingly, he will avoid it. It is important to note that the prohibitions must be "iron", that is, they can not be violated by either children or their parents. They need to be negotiated in advance. It is recommended that the number of punishments and rewards be in a ratio of at least 1: 7, since otherwise this method will be ineffective.
Carrot and stick method. This method is a combination of the two previous ones (positive and negative reinforcement) and is considered the most popular among modern parents. The child is encouraged when he does good deeds and, accordingly, punished when he behaves badly.
Warning method (or method "1-2-3"). It enables the child to postpone the punishment. First, there is a warning that if the child misbehaves, then punishment will follow. In this case, dad or mom counts up to three in a calm tone. If there is no proper reaction from the baby, the punishment is inevitable.
The Jaded Record Method. This method can be used for children no earlier than two years of age. Parents should repeat their requirements to the child until the baby fulfills them. After a while, the child will understand that there is no point in arguing, and will do whatever is asked.

How to raise children correctly

Opinions about how to do it right raise children, lots of. Parents don't like some methods, psychologists don't like others. Accordingly, since opinions differ, each parents decide for themselves how to properly raise their baby.

The methods of punishment must be selected, taking into account the peculiarities of family relationships. For example, some parents are used to showing by their behavior that they are in charge, and children should listen to them. Others, in turn, constantly conduct conversations, while others punish their child. One way or another, you should pay attention to the age of the child, since it is very easy to break the child's psyche.

Child psychologists recommend using the above methods of raising children, and which one is more suitable for a particular child, parents must decide.

Mistakes in parenting

Even the most experienced parents make mistakes when raising their children. Let's take a look at the most common ones:

Excessive custody. Many parents are overprotective of their children. This negatively affects their development. Toddlers need to understand that people can offend, and failure is normal. If parents are overprotective, children will not be able to cope with future problems on their own.
Lack of independence. The point is that children are prohibited from making decisions on their own, imposing the opinion of adults. Over time, the child gets used to the fact that adults control everything and cannot make a decision on their own. Accordingly, at an older age, this manifests itself in incompetence and dependence.
Guilt. Parents who feel guilty before their children often pamper them, trying to compensate for their guilt with gifts, etc. This negatively affects the development of the baby.
Lack of experience. While everyone thinks it's best to learn from someone else's mistakes, parents are reluctant to share their experiences. But in vain! By talking about their life situations, parents can prevent similar problems in their children.
Lack of example. It is not for nothing that psychologists say that children copy the behavior of mom and dad. If they do not set a good example, then the baby will learn what he sees every day. Are your parents lying? This means that the child will lie. If the family treats each other with respect, then the baby will behave in a similar way.