Educational methods and the degree of their effectiveness

Raising children is a responsible matter. Their future directly depends on what parenting methods parents use with their children. Of course, after the birth of a child, mom and dad think that their baby will develop harmoniously. But, without proper upbringing, it will be difficult for a child to adapt to society and achieve success. How to raise children correctly?

Methods of raising children

Disputes about educational methods will probably never stop. There are a lot of them and, accordingly, the views on these methods are too different. The reason for this is the characteristics of countries, nationality and traditions of people. For example, the Japanese allow their children to do whatever they want, but only until they are 5 years old. This is followed by a period of upbringing, which is characterized by conventions and many prohibitions, for example, children must unconditionally obey their parents. Since this technique has been developed in this country over many centuries, it is effective, but only in relation to Japanese children. In our country, such education will not give positive results. What methods of education do parents use in our country?

• Conversation or persuasion. The effectiveness of this method is undeniable. He says that the child should be calmly explained how he should behave. But this method is recommended to be used in conjunction with others, which we will talk about later.
• Positive reinforcement method. What is its essence? Everything is quite simple. Parents should respond positively to their child's good behavior. For example, if a child cleaned his room or helped his parents do something, he should receive some kind of encouragement. It doesn't have to be sweets, etc. Sometimes it is enough to praise the child, thank him or allow him to watch cartoons for 5 minutes more. That is, the main goal is to achieve children’s understanding that there will certainly be encouragement for a good deed.
• Negative reinforcement method. This method is the opposite of the previous one. More precisely, the negative actions of the child are certainly followed by negative actions on the part of the parents. It is important to note that parents should show their dissatisfaction only with respect to the specific behavior of their child, but not with him as an individual. The most commonly used methods of influencing a child are punishment, reproach, and reprimand.  Punishment can also be different. For example, small time-outs or penalties are very effective in dealing with a child's inappropriate behavior. The time-out method is known to everyone - this is the usual “angle”. In cases where the child has done something wrong, he is put in a corner so that he can think about his action. Instead of a corner, the child can be placed on the bed and forbidden to get out of it or not respond to the child’s requests. Of course, the duration of this method of education should be short. To consolidate the result, after the time-out it is recommended to have a conversation and calmly talk with the little mischief-maker.  Penalties mean prohibitions. For example, a child is not allowed to watch cartoons or go for a walk with friends. It is strictly forbidden to give tasks that should bring pleasure to the child. For example, if a child is forced to collect toys (as punishment), then this process will only bring him negative emotions in the future and, accordingly, he will avoid it.  It is important to note that the prohibitions must be “iron”, that is, they cannot be violated either by children or their parents. They need to be agreed upon in advance. It is recommended that the number of punishments and rewards be in a ratio of at least 1:7, since otherwise this method will be ineffective.
• The “carrot and stick” method. This method is a combination of the two previous ones (positive and negative reinforcement) and is considered the most popular among modern parents. The child is rewarded when he does good things and, accordingly, punished when he behaves badly.
• The warning method (or the “1-2-3” method). It gives the child the opportunity to delay the punishment. First there is a warning that if the child behaves badly, punishment will follow. At the same time, dad or mom counts to three in a calm tone. If there is no proper reaction from the baby, punishment cannot be avoided.
• The broken record method. This method can be used for children no earlier than two years of age. Parents should repeat their demands to the child until the child fulfills them. After some time, the child will understand that there is no point in arguing, and will do everything that is asked.

How to raise children correctly

Opinions about what is right raise children, a lot. Parents do not like some methods, psychologists do not like others. Accordingly, since opinions differ, each parent decides for themselves how to properly raise their child.

Methods of punishment must be selected taking into account the characteristics of family relationships. For example, some parents are used to showing by their behavior that they are in charge, and their children should listen to them. Others, in turn, constantly conduct conversations, while others punish their child. One way or another, you should pay attention to the age of the child, since it is very easy to disturb the child’s psyche.

Child psychologists recommend using the above-described methods of raising children, and which one is more suitable for a particular child, parents must decide.

Mistakes in raising children

Even the most experienced parents make mistakes when raising their children. Let's look at the most common of them:

• Overprotectiveness. Many parents overprotect their children. This negatively affects their development. Kids need to understand that people can offend, and failures are normal. If parents are overprotective, children will not be able to cope with problems on their own in the future.
• Lack of independence. The point is that children are prohibited from making their own decisions, imposing the opinions of adults. Over time, the child gets used to the fact that adults control everything and cannot make decisions on their own. Accordingly, at an older age this manifests itself in incompetence and lack of independence.
• Guilt. Parents who feel guilty about their children often spoil them, trying to compensate for their guilt with gifts, etc. This negatively affects the baby's development.
• Lack of experience. Although everyone believes that it is better to learn from the mistakes of others, parents are reluctant to talk about their experiences. But in vain! By talking about their life situations, parents can prevent similar problems in their children.
• Lack of example. It’s not for nothing that psychologists say that children copy the behavior of mom and dad. If they don't set a good example, then the baby will learn what he sees every day. Are your parents lying? This means the child will lie. If the family treats each other with respect, then the baby will behave in a similar way.

Each child is an individual who requires an individual approach; be sure to take this into account when choosing a method of education.