Raising children is a delicate matter: rules, tips

Children is our future. And the quality of the future of humanity directly depends on how well the child is brought up. It is no secret that in recent years much less time has been devoted to the issue of education than it was in the days of our grandmothers. Indeed, why bother with educational games, if you can send a child to the country of virtual reality. And the baby is busy, and the parents are well.

But this approach guarantees that in the future an inferior cell of society will grow out of such a child. Today we will tell you how to properly raise a baby, that he has grown up as a worthy person.

The role of education

It only seems that raising a child is an empty phrase. Like, he will grow up and figure out what he should be like. Many things need to be laid in early childhood. Yes, a matured person will decide herself to be good or evil. But it is much more important to be a worthy person at heart, with a solid set of moral and ethical standards and to behave with people depending on the situation. What is actually a "moral monster".

In addition, high-quality upbringing eliminates many personality problems. For example, a person who firmly knows what is right and what is not, will not reproach himself for a long time for a broken relationship. He will learn the lessons and move on, trying not to make past mistakes.

A well-mannered person has a good relationship with society. He knows how to win over people, how to become a leader. Therefore, we can safely conclude that if a child at school is deprived of the attention of his peers, then there is a lack of some kind of moral quality.

It is worth emphasizing that it is best to raise a child by example. Take care of your upbringing, modify what you think you lack. And the baby has already learned by looking at the parents. The first social skills create the most powerful effect. And they are obtained precisely from the parents.

Child development

On the contrary, the issue of development has received increased attention today. Every mother wants her child at 3 years old already skillfully read, write, knew the multiplication table and played Bach's works on the piano. Everyone wants a prodigy, but not everyone understands human nature. A super-child is born at about 1 in a million. And it is impossible to grow it artificially, distorting nature. You can only develop potential, improve performance. But to reach beyond the peaks, having the usual opportunities, is not realistic.

This is worth remembering for parents who fill the child's day to the maximum. Yes, now there are a great many circles and sections, but this does not mean that the child is obliged to attend all of them. You should not strive to give the baby absolutely everything that was not in your childhood.

Children whose working day does not have a "window" for simple children's pranks and games suffer from nervous disorders on a regular basis. The central nervous system has not yet fully strengthened, so the child has periods of hyperactivity or mood decline. And this does not mean at all that you need to take the baby with circles as much as possible so that there is no time for pampering. Pranks, games are a natural process of growing up. This is how children learn about the world. Think back to yourself at their age. Surely you played more naughty.

Developing is good, but you shouldn't cross the boundaries of what is permissible. Ask yourself - is this really what my child wants or is it my personal ambition? It is clear that every parent wants the best for their child. And he seems to have some experience to judge this. Do not forget that each person is unique. One is good at ballet school and classical music lessons. The other perceives the world through a palette of colors and sounds of rock.

Spend more time with your children, talk to them about all sorts of topics. Get to know your child, each personality is unique. And only having got to know the kid as a person well, you can choose mugs. Those that are really interesting to him. A parent is, first of all, a friend to his child. Don't forget this.

Methods of raising children

There are a great many methodologies for the upbringing of the younger generation. And what has been proven over the years is not necessarily good. Many methods are outdated, some have found their "reincarnation" in newfangled ways. It is not difficult to choose what is right for you. First of all, analyze how you were raised. Does everything suit you, turning to your childhood years later? If the answer is yes, then try to pass on your own experience to your baby. Over time, when the child grows up, he himself will tell you whether you are moving in the right direction or whether it is worth trying new methods.

Remember that your goal is to cultivate a happy, healthy personality, not notorious a person living in their fears. Basic parenting models:

1. Montessori School. It is based on the idea of ​​independence. The parent endows the child with the necessary skills, and then the child does it himself. The child's individuality develops, the personality learns to independently cope with tasks and emerging problems.
2. Suzuki Music Academy. Professor Suzuki believes that having fallen in love with music as an element of beauty, the child will continue to gravitate towards beautiful things and kind emotions. You just need to find the key to each.
3. Trust in your child. This method assumes just the personal preferences of the baby. No coercion, strictly at the request of the child. Any children's aspirations and undertakings are supported.
4. The Nikitin system assigns the parent the role of assistant and advisor. The freedom of the child is not limited to the parental word. Seniors give prompts, and the choice remains with the child.

It is not necessary to take one model as the only correct one. A combination of elements of several different theories is possible. It is good to supplement them with your personal observations.

How to raise a child correctly

Remember the basic rules in the upbringing of the younger generation and follow them relentlessly:

• The baby should grow up in an atmosphere of love and tranquility... Of course, it is very difficult to completely control your emotions, but the baby is just learning. He doesn't try to make Mom angry. Moreover, it is not his fault if someone else violated your emotional stability.
• Be responsible for your behavior. Children begin to copy the behavior of adults after 1 year of life. Of course, not yet consciously. Therefore, if the child is constantly littering, first of all reconsider your behavior, if you are not doing the same.
• Never answer a child in a moment of passion. Calm down first, restore peace of mind, then react to childish trick... Kids perceive everything much more sensitively, the words of adults can hurt them greatly.
• Don't put pressure on your child. Leave him the opportunity to make his own decision. Who likes being constantly under pressure and oppression?
• Calm, love and wisdom... This is your child, you love him as he is. Find the strength to be wise and just.

Mistakes in parenting

The most common mistakes in the educational process:

1. Wrong definition of the volume of love. Very often, parents suffer from overprotection or, conversely, pay too little attention to the baby. Each child has his own love language - gifts, hugs, compliments. Listen to him, he will tell you what he needs.
2. Connivance. Excessive freedom and the fall of parental authority. With young children, you need to have a certain amount of firmness, permissiveness leads only to "sit on the neck." But there should be no raising of the voice or the use of physical force. This will only demonstrate that the child prevailed.
3. Doubt. Never doubt a child. He is the best, he will achieve unprecedented heights. The only way. Because he's yours. Parental faith is one of the foundations of a child's mental health.
4. Beyond expectations. Learn to deal with failure. It `s naturally. Only the one who does nothing is not mistaken. Teach the child not to give up, but to get up and get what he wants.
5. Learn to hear. Don't just listen to what your little mouth tells you. And really hear, understand, empathize. Learn to respect individuality and all attempts at independence.
6. Don't kid your child. Do not make promises that you cannot fulfill in absentia. This destroys the authority of the parent, and kills the trust. Children should be sure that the parent is the ideal, the absolute.
7. Do not try to feel sorry for the child where it is not needed. Do not think “He is still too small, stupid, inept. I'll do it myself. " Children need to be constantly puzzled as they develop. You can tell me how to do it right. But it's not worth taking on something completely. Children love to help, be needed, useful.
8. Do not spoil. Teach your kid that all good things must be earned. Whether it will be the cash equivalent of a promotion or already in the form of purchases - it's up to you.
9. Do not strive to fulfill your ambitions with children's hands. As mentioned above, circles and sections are good when the child himself is interested in attending them.
10. Today yes, tomorrow no. If you prohibit a child from touching the phone, then the prohibition should be around the clock and from all family members. When dad allows and mom forbids it is bad. The kid will only get confused.

When to start raising a child

The answer is simple - from the first days of life. You shouldn't make your child the master of life. Get used to the fact that mom is in charge right away. For example, a toddler confused day with night. Place it next to you. Doesn't want to sleep - let him lie side by side. With mom it is warm, cozy and calm. Sooner or later, the baby will fall asleep on its own. After a couple of such nights, the regime will stabilize and the child will begin to sleep at night.

Do not allow breastfeeding while breastfeeding. Began to play - remove the nipple and give it again. In such little things, you will demonstrate your authority as a parent. But do not forget about the sense of proportion. The child should not feel oppressed and unnecessary. A reasonable combination of love and severity is the key to proper upbringing.

Is it possible to punish children

In this matter, how many people, so many opinions. One thing is known for sure, it is difficult to never resort to this lever of education. To say the least - impossible. A growing person should be aware that all actions carry some kind of meaning. In their life or other living beings. It's one thing to accidentally make a mistake. And it is quite another to do some harm on purpose.

• When choosing punishments be fair, because your goal is to convey a lesson, and not to break the child's psyche.
• Be sure to explain what consequences his act had and how they could have been avoided.
• Do not raise your voice or threaten physical harm.
• In each request, specify what will happen if the baby obeys, and what will happen in case of refusal.
• Do not take out your irritation on the child, everyone has a bad day and the child has absolutely nothing to do with it.
• Be sure to ask the child why he did this, because often children make mistakes for good intentions.
• Physical punishment should be used only if all other methods did not work, but before that ask yourself, did you do everything so that your child hears you?
• Don't forget the carrot and stick method. Every good deed should be rewarded with sweetness or a simple kiss.
• Never allow yourself to call names, humiliate a child. This is a psychological trauma for life! Self-esteem suffers, and contact with the parent becomes less and less.
• Punishments such as cornering should be used only in the case of serious misconduct that entailed consequences for health or life. For example, the fight ended in a fracture.
• You should not use ignoring as a punishment, this method is only good when there is close emotional contact between the parent and the baby. The child is afraid of losing. In other cases, this method is not effective.

Parenting: advice from a psychologist

1. Preschool children are best educated in a playful way. Play a fairy tale in which the protagonist does not brush his teeth in the morning. And using the example of the hero, explain to the kid what consequences this may cause and how other children perceive him.
2. Remember to show your love to your child. Yes, you did a bad deed, you upset me with this. But I love you anyway. Because you are my son / daughter.
3. Don't underestimate children's stories and questions. Now you know that the situation is nonsense. For a child, this is a personal tragedy. Think about your personal preschool fears and tragedies and share them with your child.
4. The basis of good parenting is trust. The child must be sure that he will always be understood, listened to and helped. That parents are fair and honest.
5. Support any positive infatuation with your baby. If he wants to paint, buy paints and an easel. I wanted to play the guitar - please. This is a process of finding oneself and it is better to successfully complete it in childhood.
6. Remember to follow the established rules. If you forbid your child to eat sweets before eating, then you should not tease him by eating ice cream before lunch. This is not fair. For the rules to be adhered to without question, they must be the same for everyone.
7. Respect the child, let him show individuality, independence.
8. Be sure to show love in the little things. Coming from the store, buy an extraordinary sweetness if the child has removed the toys after him. Hug and kiss him just like that. Teach your toddler to express his feelings.
9. Ask for the child's opinion. Teach him to make decisions and take responsibility. Start small - what cookies to buy for tea, what color is your toothbrush.
10. Learn to explain and defend your position. This will help to find consensus in conflicts without punishment.
11. In no case criticize the child in public, all negative moments are only at home, behind a closed door.
12. Also not worth comparing with others. Do you yourself like it when your mother talks about Svetka, who has three higher educations and two apartments in the center of Moscow?