How to forgive treason and is it necessary at all

If you are faced with the betrayal of a loved one, try to realize that you are far from the first and, unfortunately, not the last. No matter how hard it is, you will have to look for answers to many questions and solve a number of problems. Do I need to forgive treason? How to live with this shock? Is it worth overcoming yourself and saving your family? The advice of psychologists will help you answer all these questions.

Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of her husband

• To begin with, calm down, pull yourself together and carefully analyze your relationship with your spouse from the first days of meeting until today. It is not so important that you live together for a year and 20 years, the main thing is to understand whether this marriage is worth keeping it? Situations are completely different and sometimes it is possible and even necessary to forgive treason, but only if warm feelings and mutual understanding are still preserved between the husband and wife. However, the opposite also happens - there are a number of insurmountable contradictions in the family, and betrayal is only the last straw.
• The connection of your beloved with another woman does not always mean the complete collapse of your relationship. Try to look at this aspect from a different angle, because all people have flaws, and if you really still love a man, accept him with all positive and negative qualities. In addition, this is an occasion to consider critically your persona, maybe there is your fault in what happened?
• In order for the memories of betrayal to be erased from memory, it is necessary to give each other some time. You can speed up the process with the help of psychotherapy with a competent family psychologist.
• If you are determined to forgive your husband treason, there is no need to dwell on this situation and share with friends and family, this will only complicate things. Remember - this is your family and only you will have to decide what to do next.
• Try to understand the reason for the behavior of the second half, put yourself in his place, but do not forget - men cheat not because they do not love and do not feel satisfaction in bed with their wife, they can have an affair on the side only in order to assert themselves.
• Be prepared that your life together will not be easy at first. Even when you manage to forgive the cheater, the same thought will constantly revolve in your head, it is very difficult to start trusting after betrayal.

How to forgive treason

For the sake of family, love and children, many women are ready to forgive betrayal and not completely destroy the marriage. It is worth doing this only when the spouse really realized his mistake, sincerely repented of what he had done and promised that this would not happen again. But even in this situation, letting go of the problem will not be easy. Only a strong and loving person can survive this psychological trauma. Unpleasant scenes in your head will flicker for a long time, reminding you of how your life together has changed overnight. In order not to go crazy with resentment and forgive the betrayal of your beloved, adhere to the following rules:

• You don't need to torture yourself. Yes, cheating on a loved one sometimes becomes a breakdown of illusions and family happiness... But after all, you made a firm decision to forgive your repentant husband, now you need to make every effort to abstract from the negativity. Do it in your favorite ways - have a heart-to-heart talk, visit a psychologist, go on vacation, change your place of residence. Only you know how to alleviate your condition. Perceive what happened as someone else's life, as a mistake, which will be replaced by something new, better. Throw the trash out of the apartment, out of your head and accept the opportunity to start a new life.
• Give a second chance. Like any other person, your lover should get a chance to make things right. He was cruelly mistaken and allowed himself to compare you with another woman, but if repentance has come, then all is not lost. Give him the opportunity to prove his love and loyalty, and clearly stipulate the length of the trial period. Perhaps, after all the trials, your feelings will become even stronger than they were, you will learn to value each other. It is important not to go too far here, because changes may not follow, then the situation can be considered deplorable, silently turn around and leave.
• Learn to resolve conflicts through conversation. Realize that two people are always to blame for any family problems, because not all wives are unfaithful. If you have been betrayed, then you were neglected and the thought was admitted - there is someone better. Reflect on your mistakes. Maybe you paid little attention to your soul mate? Have you been disrespectful, argued, or fought over and over? The best way to find out is to sit down at the negotiating table and peacefully figure out all the nuances. When people know how to resolve conflicts through constructive dialogue, it simply does not come to treason.
• Correct your mistakes. After you figure out the root of the problem, it's time to start working on the mistakes to eliminate the possibility of repetition. And stop feeling sorry for yourself and playing the role of a victim, because what happened is a lot of your fault.

How to improve relationships after infidelity

Relationships after betrayal will have to be rebuilt. You need to learn to trust your loved one again and feel comfortable with him. Difficult work lies ahead for both spouses - you must remember why you love and value your marriage, he must make every effort and return the former romance and tender feelings, surrounding you with attention and care.

Because of betrayal, thousands of marriages break up every year, but if you decide to give the relationship a second chance, then do not deviate from the intended path and follow a number of useful recommendations:

• The first thing to remember is that never, under any circumstances, remember a man about cheating. Even in the hottest quarrel, keep your mouth shut, it will be better for you, otherwise the ghost of a lovemaker will continue to burn your marriage from the inside. Be prudent and generous, only a strong-minded person can forgive such a mistake.
• The foundation of a harmonious relationship is trust. Make it a rule to discuss, talk to each other, and voice your grievances directly and openly. Silence will not resolve the conflict, but will only exacerbate it. As unpleasant as it is, listen to your opinion with dignity.
• Analyze your attitude towards your husband before infidelity... Did you do everything right, perhaps this is just a reaction to your behavior and you shouldn't endlessly saw your man for unwashed dishes or thrown dirty socks? Wise women should understand that it is simply impossible to get something from the other half with screams, scandals and moralizing.
• Common interests are the key to a good marriage. It is foolish to expect love until the grave, if each of you comes home from work and disperses in different corners and bumps into your gadget. Start doing something together - watch a new movie, go for a walk, or just talk about the past day, your accomplishments or challenges.
• Work together to create a cozy and welcoming atmosphere in your home. Take some time to be alone, discuss vacation plans, and ask each other about how they are feeling.

Is it worth forgiving betrayal

It is impossible to give an unambiguous answer to the question of whether it is necessary to forgive a loved one for betrayal. Still, one should proceed from what the relationship was between the spouses before the incident and how the cheater behaved when the truth was revealed.

You do not need to chop off the shoulder in the following situations:

• The man stumbled only once and there are no systematic betrayals on his part.
• The spouse has sincerely repented and is trying in every way to make amends.
• A loved one carefully hides the fact of betrayal, because he loves you and does not want to hurt, divorce is definitely not included in his plans.
• If, through your fault, you and your spouse have not had close intimate relationships for a long time.
• You yourself are not without sin and your beloved found out about your betrayal.
• Your love for a man is so boundless that you are ready to forgive even that.

You shouldn't even think about maintaining a relationship if:

• The adventures of her husband have become regular and he is so confident of impunity that he does not even hide numerous betrayals.
• If the man stops all your attempts to discuss this situation and pretends that nothing happened.
• You see that you have long lost value for a person and he no longer values ​​his family.
• The homeless woman has firmly established herself in the life of her husband, their relationship has gotten out of control, but he has not yet started talking about divorce.