How to choose a man

Finding a soul mate is an eternal topic. Sometimes there seems to be no shortage of gentlemen, but everything is not right: the relationship does not develop or does not develop as we would like. How to choose the only one, your man?

Which man to choose

Often, when presenting requirements to candidates, women do not think about why they need men. After all, not every lady dreams of hearing a wedding march as soon as possible. No one is going to challenge the value of the family, but if you want to create a harmonious union, first of all, be honest with yourself and think about what you want.

For example, a woman has just gone through a long debilitating divorce. Mutual accusations, cups and spoons section. She is exhausted, broken, lonely. And he does not want to enter into a new serious relationship yet. She needs someone who will entertain, support, and occasionally help with the housework. It would seem that everything is simple, but stereotypes are included here. After all, a man must necessarily be a breadwinner, loyal, reliable, economic, love children and ... Stop! These are all qualities of a good husband. And she is not going to get married now, so why does she need all this family arsenal?

But another lady wants to put on a wedding ring. But she's a staunch childfree. And if next to her there is a man who is touched at the sight of babies and is already planning the interior of the future nursery, it is unlikely that their marriage will be long and happy: there are too different views on the family.

Therefore, first decide what kind of relationship you are striving for. It is important that your goals at this stage are aligned. And do not narrow the circle of potential partners by presenting those requirements that are not important in a specific relationship. You do not need a universal soldier, but one who will be good in a very specific role.

How to choose the right man

It is worth accepting the banal truth: people hardly change, and if they change, then it is very difficult and not soon. Therefore, when choosing a partner, you should not make a common mistake and start a relationship with a "semi-finished product": it seems not quite right, but you can reeducate. In a healthy relationship, no one re-educates anyone and does not make "for himself." This is a thankless task. If you don't want to cry out with tears in a few years that you spent your best years on him, take a good look at the person before making a decisive choice.

There are many tests and questionnaires on the Internet, the essence of which, as a rule, boils down to one thing: determine which areas of the relationship are key for you and find out if your views on them coincide with those of your partner. For example, the well-known psychologist Nikolai Kozlov has a questionnaire called "Family Contract". Read, do not be lazy.

So, what the candidate wants from the woman in general and from you specifically, you more or less found out. But sweet speeches are not yet an indicator. Pay attention to how your man behaves with others. This is where inconsistencies are often found. Usually in communication with unfamiliar and potentially useless people for us, the human essence is manifested.

How to choose between men

If you are faced with a choice, then each of the candidates is not ideal, and in the plans, most likely, a long-term serious relationship.

In such a situation, it is helpful to think about the future. Which of your chosen ones has already reached the "ceiling", and who is aimed at further growth and has the appropriate opportunities for this? Your choice does not have to fall on a prospective groom. Can you in time match the level your grown man? Be honest with yourself. If you do not plan to build a career, take personal growth trainings and read smart books - stop your choice on someone who has already reached their level. You will be more comfortable and easier with him.

But those who strive for new knowledge and heights should take a closer look at a promising like-minded person.

Estimate which of the men will be easier for you in everyday life. At first funny little things can seriously shake your relationship over the years. Do not hope for re-education. Before you is an adult, formed personality, no one is obliged to adapt to other people's habits. Maybe if he sees fit and wants to, but he doesn't have to.

And finally, think, when passion and love pass, what will you get the bottom line? Which of the two can you be with not only lovers but also friends, like-minded people, close people? Or maybe none of them suits you.

How to choose a real man

Here is a rough portrait a real man drawn from the results of numerous polls and studies conducted among Russian women.

• Strong. And it's not just the muscles, the strength is read in the look, gestures, demeanor.
• Responsible. He not only makes decisions, but is also ready for the consequences.
• Purposeful. He does not give up his business halfway, he completes what he has begun to the end, and achieves his goals.
• Far-sighted. Calculates the situation ahead, knows how to plan.
• Active. Words are husks, a man does.
• Independent. He accepts help with gratitude, but in principle does not need it.
• Balanced. He does not strain unnecessarily, most often he is gentle, kind, calm and relaxed.
• Has its own point of view. But he will listen to yours too - new information may be useful.
• Laconic. In everything: words, deeds, clothes.
• Neat. Appearance is a reflection of the inner world. So there is always cleanliness, taste and order.
• Motivated. External circumstances cannot be good or bad. The impetus for action is inside.

If your chosen one meets most of the points, most likely you are in luck, he is a real man.