Home Psychology Man The husband does not want a child: what to do

All over the world, millions of families dream of having children, but for objective reasons they cannot. But it happens that a couple may well afford to plan the birth of a child, but one simply does not want to. And most often it is a man who is against the birth of a baby, while women are perplexed and are looking for a justification for such behavior. Perhaps this article will answer some of their questions.

Why does the husband not want children

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Most men, sooner or later, still think about procreation, because this instinct is inherent in them by nature. However, there are more and more people for whom children are not at all the meaning of life, but a kind of hindrance. What is the reason for such an ardent reluctance to have a child?

  1. Uncertainty in their abilities. In fact, there is nothing wrong with the fact that the spouse is serious about the issue of financial support for the family and wants his child to grow up in good conditions. Housing, clothing, toys, education for children are not cheap at all and you need to be prepared for large financial investments. In this case, it is necessary to explain to your beloved that such costs are inevitable and to impose part of the family responsibilities on yourself, having prepared a cash "pillow" in advance, and the desire to have a baby will be an excellent incentive to develop.
  2. Fear for the health of the wife and child. Despite the development of medicine, children with serious health problems at birth are not decreasing. Perhaps a man is simply afraid that this will happen to his family, especially if the couple is in a certain risk group, for example, by age or the presence of chronic diseases. Then a thorough medical examination and specialist consultation will be required.
  3. Doubts about relations with his wife. If the marriage has problems with trust and relationship building, it is likely that the head of the household will find it undesirable to have a child at this time. Prove to your loved one that you can be relied on, try to listen to his point of view, be more loyal to his shortcomings and do not make scandals out of the blue. Your other half will definitely appreciate your changes for the better and, for sure, will change their minds.
  4. Bad example of friends or relatives. When a man sees that some of his loved ones have deteriorated relations after the birth of children, there are problems in communicating with the child, he subconsciously tries on the situation for himself. Explain to your spouse that everyone is different, and that your family doesn’t have to repeat someone’s unfortunate scenario.
  5. Cheating wife. Agree, a rather typical situation - a woman independently makes a decision about giving birth to a child without informing her spouse. Thus, she achieves what she wants, but her husband is categorically against it, demands an abortion and threatens to quit. Therefore, before using dishonest ways to get pregnant, think about whether you can raise a child alone if your husband still leaves the family.
  6. Moral unwillingness to take responsibility. If a man is sure that he has not yet "grown up" to his own children, do not put pressure on him and convince him otherwise. Wait a while, and then decide if you are ready to accept and accept his point of view. If not, then perhaps you are simply not on the way.
  7. The man has health problems. With the help of doctors, find out if everything is so serious or if there is still a way to solve the problem. If the beloved cannot have children or there are negative risks for the course of pregnancy and the health of the unborn baby, do not despair - consider the possibility of IVF or adoption.

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Why does the husband not want a second child

For many spouses, the appearance of their first child in the house is regarded as a matter of course. The husband is immensely happy, adores and pampers the baby. And the picture of family happiness, it would seem, is perfect. But time passes, and the wife looks with affection at the newborn crumbs, realizing that her own child has already grown up enough and has become independent. In a woman, the maternal instinct awakens with renewed vigor, and she is ready to endure all the torment and pain again, only to see her little bundle of happiness for the second time. But her husband, it turns out, does not share her plans and is categorically against it. What are the reasons for his refusal?

  1. Most often, the notorious money issue is the main factor. The man fulfilled his mission of procreation and believes that the family simply will not "pull" one more baby financially. Many wives who are confronted with this argument successfully solve the problem by outlining to the spouse a plan for the monetary investment associated with the birth of a child. Quite often, a woman planning a second baby, acts prudently - does not sell or give things from the firstborn. Consequently, a significant part of the dowry is ready.
  2. It happens that the birth of a baby takes a lot of strength, health and energy. After all, children in infancy are restless - their tummies ache and teeth are teething, which means tears and sleepless nights. The man had only recently come to his senses, planning to pursue a career and enjoy life. He is simply not ready to go through all the hardships and hardships again. And the beloved wife comes up with an unexpected proposal. After hearing the refusal, try to understand it and explain that the bulk of the care of the baby will fall on your shoulders. The main thing is to act together, deception in such a delicate matter can have very unpleasant consequences.
  3. No less common is the situation when the husband already has one or more children from a previous marriage, but the wife does not have them yet. A man sincerely does not understand why she has problems and troubles in the form of a little tomboy. Remind your husband that the main purpose of a woman is raising offspring, you passionately desire to feel the joy of motherhood and you will be happy to give birth to a small copy of your loved one.

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How to tell your husband that I want a child

It is common for a woman, especially one in marriage, to want to continue the race and realize herself in the role of a mother. And she, of course, will share her ideas with her beloved spouse. What if he doesn't share the excitement of having a baby in the home? How to convey to him this thought - "I want a child"?

  1. To begin with, do a good job of understanding yourself and decide if you are really ready to take responsibility and have a baby in the near future. Every woman should be aware that she is making one of the most important decisions in her life, and the fate of the little man depends on this. If you are unshakable in your confidence and have weighed the pros and cons, proceed to the next step.
  2. Start a conversation about children from afar, find out how your spouse treats them, and fantasize about what names you will give and who your son or daughter might become when they grow up. Only after that, go to the main question and express your desire to have a joint child. At the same time, you do not need to allow yourself to make harsh statements and demand everything at once. First, listen to the opinion of your loved one, and only then give your arguments. Even if the husband says his firm "no", do not get excited. Some people tend to be overly categorical, perhaps he simply was not ready for a serious conversation and needs to wait a while.

What to do if the husband does not want a child

The vast majority of couples in love, before entering into legal marriage, discuss such a serious issue as planning a pregnancy. But what if in the process of family life a woman makes an unpleasant discovery for her “The husband does not want children”?

The explanation of why this is happening can be very different. Perhaps the reason lies in an unhappy childhood or an unfortunate example of friends and family. Be that as it may, here it is very important to come to a joint agreement, because two people are involved in the birth of a child. Treat the opinion of the chosen one with understanding and respect. After all, women rely on maternal instinct, and men think more rationally and prudently, they need to think over a plan of action and prepare a financial base. Together, you must analyze the situation and make the best decision.

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How to understand that a husband wants a child

Does a man want to have a child? This problem takes a woman at the stage of family planning. Here are some signs by which you will determine whether your chosen one is ready for this crucial step:

  • a man willingly plays with other people's kids;
  • he himself had several brothers and sisters, and he was used to living in a large friendly family;
  • he trusts you to take care of protection;
  • he has strong feelings for you;
  • the man has children from a previous marriage and he takes good care of them;
  • he grew up in a complete family and does not want his future children to grow up without a father.

It is worth saying that these are only indirect signs. The most reliable and simple way to find out how your loved one feels about childbirth is to ask him directly. Just do not rush things and bring a man to the idea of ​​having children only when you are confident in him and the relationship will reach a new level.

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