Difficult child: features of upbringing

Many parents and teachers, when faced with difficult children, do not know how to behave with them. Disobedience is a characteristic feature of active children, but what if the behavior of little slugs goes beyond all boundaries? Let's talk about what children are called difficult and how parents can act to cope with their children.

Who is the difficult child

Children who are naughty, uncontrollable, moody, etc. are called difficult. That is, those whose behavior is impossible to control. Such children often protest, behave selfishly, suffer from frequent mood swings and get along badly not only with their parents, but also with teachers. According to psychologists, such children often include children who are too vulnerable, who, under the influence of life's pressures and difficulties, cannot cope with regular stress.

It is important to understand that children do not become so of their own free will. Therefore, blaming them for something, or scolding them is not worth it. It is necessary to look for the reasons for disobedience and help the child cope with this problem.

Most parents believe that a difficult child simply does not want to understand them, does not want to make contact and in every possible way protests against normal communication. But the reason goes much deeper. Often, in order to cope with difficult children, parents turn to psychologists for help. This is a truly effective way to learn about the child's psyche and find the reasons for the child's negative behavior. But, unfortunately, not all people have the opportunity to contact specialists. But there is always a way out! You can cope with the child and find ways to raise him on your own.

Features of raising a difficult child

There are no newborn difficult children. Accordingly, they become so as they grow up. The child copies the behavior of his parents and begins to show the same character traits as they do.

That is why, in order to cope with a difficult child, it is necessary, first of all, to reconsider their behavior by the parents themselves. Let's look at the main mistakes of parents with specific examples:

• For example, if dad allowed a child to watch cartoons every day until midnight, and mom forbade this and sent the baby to bed, hysterics cannot be avoided. It is difficult for a child to understand why yesterday it was possible to watch cartoons for a long time, but not today. In cases where the pedagogical principles of parents differ, it is quite difficult for them to cope with the upbringing of their child. Therefore, it is very important that all household members adhere to the only rules established in the house and do not indulge the whims of the child.
• Also, parents often do not follow what their child is doing, and then notice drastic changes in his behavior. For example, if a baby talked with ill-bred children from morning to evening, then, most likely, he will remember their habits quickly and will behave in the same way. The lack of pedagogical principles also negatively affects the psychological state of the child, which is fraught with nervous disorders, depression and stress. Parents should monitor what their child is doing, play with him, help him learn about the world, and cope with life's problems. Thus, they will help their child to become an intelligent, educated and, most importantly, well-mannered person.

• Difficult children often control their parents. Strange, isn't it? But this is exactly the case. Whims- this is their main weapon. If at least once, through whims, tantrums and tears, a child has achieved something from his parents, most likely he will use this psychological technique every day, and in unlimited quantities. The only way out of this situation – do not indulge in such behavior. The child must understand that his methods are no longer working. But parents, in turn, must tell their child how to behave so that they hear requests and respond to them.

Tips for parents of a difficult child

There is a lot of information about raising children, but its essence boils down to several principles that all parents of difficult children (and not only) should follow:

• The child needs to be praised. For some reason, parents often forget about this. If the child behaves badly, he needs to be told about it, if it is good – praise and emphasize how smart he is. Children only build their own model of behavior and, accordingly, it directly depends on the reaction to certain actions of the closest and dearest people. It is the parents who must show the child what is “good” and what is “bad”.
• You cannot judge a child as a person. All children are good, only in some life situations they can behave incorrectly. That is, you should focus on the actions and specific actions of the baby. For example, to remind that he is a very good boy, but at the moment he is behaving rudely. The kid, in this case, will understand that he is loved, and the reason for the punishment is his actions at a particular moment.

• You should not demand more from the child than he can. It is necessary to take into account the age and level of development of the baby.
• Penalties must be consistent. For example, if a child did not put away toys in the evening, it makes no sense to punish him in the morning, since he still will not understand why he was scolded.
• You need to calm down a difficult child in an exceptionally calm voice. Who would be pleased if they yell at him?
• Personal example – the best way to raise a child.
• Parents should have a dialogue with their child. This is especially true for older children. If a child is ready to enter into disputes, to defend his point of view, parents should listen to him, and only after that make a decision.

Dealing with difficult children is not as difficult as it sounds. You need to review your parenting principles and follow the advice described above. Once the child realizes that his parents are ready to meet, seek compromises and really love him, he will begin to take the first steps towards change.