How to overcome shyness

Many people experience some kind of discomfort in the presence of other people. Because of this, another problem arises - self-realization. Because of the fear of judgment from the outside, a person does not reveal his inner potential, he is afraid to realize his dreams come true... This is a problem, and any problem must be fought. How? Read on.

The origins of shyness

Feeling awkward in the presence of a small number of people is called shyness. Often this quality manifests itself due to self-doubt and low self-esteem. It is the shy person who is prone to isolation and secrecy.

Some experts are confident that shyness is inherited, as well as height, physique, and so on. Others are sure that the manifestation of fear of people is of an acquired nature, which means that it is possible to overcome this feeling.

Psychologists believe that the beginnings shyness must be sought from early childhood, when the child has not yet been taught to love and accept himself as he was born, with all the advantages and disadvantages. As a result, a person is afraid to hear criticism in his direction, especially negative.

Soviet psychotherapist  Nikolay Naritsyn, considered the main cause shyness — Availability controller. Them can appear native brother, dad or mum, teacher or  other human, which the It has important a place in life shy human... His control is always felt. It is from the lips of the "examiners" that you can constantly hear words that each time reduce self-confidence. "Do you think you can do it?", "What the hell are you talking about?" etc.

Shyness and insecurity - is there a difference

Still, shyness and insecurity, although similar features, are not the same thing. A person can be confident in his opinions and decisions, but hesitate to say it. So it turns out that there is confidence, but shyness prevents you from expressing yourself. Of course, ideally, both of these qualities are worked out, as this will serve as a wonderful complement. To become versatile in this regard, you can try to follow the tips below.

• Write in your personal diary, or in your own internal memory, the small achievements that you managed to accomplish during the day. You should get about ten achievements per day. If you can't get the right amount, your confidence has crossed the minimum line and you need to urgently work on yourself.
• Do not scold yourself for wrongdoing and weakness. Understand that many are mistaken, this is what leads to self-improvement. If you find it difficult to unlearn this, write on a piece of paper a phrase that will remind you that mistakes are not scary and stick it on the refrigerator or in any other prominent place.
• The next time you feel insecure ask yourself "Why?" If you don't get an adequate answer, which is what often happens, put this thought out of your head.
• Get rid of any negative thoughts that worry you and make you panic.

How to overcome shyness

Now it has become clear what shyness is and where it comes from. It's time to get rid of this feeling and start communicating easily and freely. Be prepared in advance for a complete psychological restructuring, if necessary, use the help of a psychologist.

For every individualI care then, as is he looks like in eyes others... This means that for the most part he looks after himself, and not for those around him. Your worries about what others will think of you are meaningless. Moreover, those whose opinion is really interesting evaluate people not by external, but by internal qualities.

The next thing you need to learn is think positively... Many people whom you will meet on your life path have opinions and thoughts different from yours, which means that you should not take everything to heart. Learn to step out of your comfort zone. Start communicating with people, no matter how scary you are. Be friendly and smiling, then people themselves will reach out to you and do not forget that the outcome of the dialogue is half up to you.

Moderate self-criticism, allow yourself to be wrong and do not judge yourself for it. React to your punctures with a smile.

Set a goal for yourself that you can achieve, for example: to strike up a conversation with an unfamiliar person, and gradually go to her, conquering mini-tasks.

Before performance on the to the public do some preliminary preparation, for example at home or in front of the family. When in front of a large number of people, do not think about your appearance, understand that in front of you are those who need your information, and not your appearance and so on.

remember, that you need to look beautiful... If you have limited finances and buying clothes is not included in the upcoming expenses, try to look neat, do not allow yourself to go out in something torn or wrinkled.

Take your time to drown your shyness in sea ​​of ​​alcohol... Under the influence of alcohol, a person does not behave decisively, but cheekily. After the feeling of drunkenness wears off, comes shame for their behavior. This can cause even more shyness and isolation.

Work on yourself. Realize that all people are concerned with what others think of them. And for the future, remember the phrase that the Brazilian poet Paulo Coelho said: “It doesn't matter what others think - because they will think something anyway. So relax. "