How to overcome shyness

Many people experience some discomfort in the presence of other people. Because of this, another problem arises - self-realization. Because of the fear of condemnation from the outside, a person does not reveal his inner potential, is afraid to realize his dreams into reality. This is a problem, and any problem must be fought. How? Read on.

The Origins of Shyness

Feeling awkward in the presence of a small number of people is called shyness. Often this quality manifests itself due to self-doubt and low self-esteem. It is a shy person who is prone to isolation and secrecy.

Some experts are confident that shyness is inherited, just like height, physique, etc. Others are confident that the manifestation of fear of people is acquired, which means it is possible to overcome this feeling.

Psychologists believe that the beginnings Shyness should be looked for from early childhood, when the child has not yet been taught to love and accept himself as he was born, with all his virtues and shortcomings. As a result, a person is afraid to hear criticism in his direction, especially negative.

Soviet psychotherapist  Nikolay Naritsyn, thought main reason shyness — availability controller. Im maybe be native brother, dad or mom, teacher or  other man, which has important place in life shy person. His control is always felt. It is from the mouths of the “examiners” that one can constantly hear words that each time reduce self-confidence. “Do you think you can do this?”, “What nonsense are you talking about?” and so on.

Shyness and uncertainty - is there a difference?

Still, shyness and uncertainty, although similar traits, are not the same thing. A person may be confident in his opinions and decisions, but be embarrassed to say it. So it turns out that there is confidence, but shyness prevents you from expressing yourself. Of course, ideally, both of these qualities should be developed, as this will serve as an excellent addition. To become universal in this regard, you can try to follow the tips below.

• Write down in your personal diary, or in your own internal memory, the small achievements that you managed to accomplish throughout the day. You should get about ten achievements per day. If you cannot get the required amount, your confidence has crossed the minimum line and you urgently need to work on yourself.
• Don't scold yourself for your misdeeds and weaknesses. Understand that many people make mistakes, this is what leads to self-improvement. If it’s difficult for you to unlearn this, write a phrase on a piece of paper that will remind you that mistakes are not scary and stick it on the refrigerator or any other visible place.
• The next time you feel unsure, ask yourself “Why?” If you don’t get an adequate answer, and this is what often happens, throw this thought out of your head.
• Get rid of all the negative thoughts that worry you and make you panic.

How to overcome shyness

Now it has become clear what shyness is and where it comes from. It's time to get rid of this feeling and start communicating easily and freely. Be prepared in advance for a complete psychological restructuring; if necessary, use the help of a psychologist.

To every individual not indifferent then, how he looks in eyes others. This means that for the most part he looks after himself, and not those around him. Your worries about what others will think of you are pointless. Moreover, those whose opinions are truly interesting evaluate people not by external, but by internal qualities.

The next thing you need to learn is think positively. Many people you will meet on your life’s path have opinions and thoughts that are different from yours, which means you shouldn’t take everything to heart. Learn to step out of your comfort zone. Start communicating with people, no matter how scared you are. Be friendly and smiling, then people will be drawn to you and don’t forget that the outcome of the dialogue is half up to you.

Moderate your self-criticism, allow yourself to make mistakes and don’t judge yourself for it. React to your punctures with a smile.

Set a goal for yourself that you can achieve, for example: start a conversation with a stranger, and gradually work towards it, conquering mini-tasks.

Before performance on to the public   Do some preliminary preparation, perhaps at home or in front of your family. When you are in front of a large number of people, do not think about your appearance, understand that in front of you are those who need your information, and not your appearance and so on. Remember that

you need to look beautiful . If you have limited finances and buying clothes is not part of your upcoming expenses, try to look neat, do not allow yourself to go out in something torn or wrinkled. Don't rush to drown your shyness in

sea of alcohol . Under the influence of alcohol, a person behaves not decisively, but cheekily. After the feeling of intoxication passes, shame for one’s behavior comes. This can cause even more shyness and withdrawal. Work on yourself. Realize that all people are concerned about what others think of them. And for the future, remember the phrase that the Brazilian poet Paulo Coelho said: “It doesn’t matter what others think - because they will think something anyway. So relax."

Previous article