When to have a second child

Gone are the days when children were born when God willing. Nowadays most married couples are planning birth of babies. Moreover, if the birth of the first child occurs soon after marriage, then most parents are in no hurry with the birth of the second child.

Best age to have a second child

Many women are in no hurry to have a second child for several reasons. These include the woman’s health, the financial situation of the family and the psychological factor. The age of the woman is also important.

Previously, in the Soviet years, it was generally accepted that the best time to have a second baby was before the age of thirty. Of course, if the family’s material well-being allows them to raise two children without infringing on the interests of each, then they can hurry up with the birth of another child. But as practice shows, after the birth of their first child, modern women prefer self-development and building a career.

In some ways this approach makes sense. A woman can achieve social success, improve her financial situation and approach motherhood more responsibly. In this case, the second pregnancy is planned consciously.

The changing realities of life are also pushing people to have a child at the age of 35. The level of medicine has become significantly higher. It has become possible to identify various pathologies at an early stage and take into account various risks.

• At this age, a woman is healthy enough to carry a child without complications.
• The financial situation of a married couple at the age of 35 is quite stable and strong.
• The woman has experience of motherhood. Most likely, the first child in the family is already old enough to provide all possible assistance in caring for a brother or sister.

Many women decide to have a second pregnancy at a later age and postpone the birth of a baby for 40 or even 45 years. Of course, pregnancy at a later age requires careful preparation - a complete health examination, careful monitoring of pregnancy and parental preparedness for possible complications are necessary.

But even at that age you can give birth a beautiful healthy baby, and there are many examples of this. Some women at 40 are just becoming mothers for the first time. It all depends on your desire and financial capabilities. When giving birth to a child after the age of 40, a woman approaches motherhood with all responsibility. She understands perfectly well what difficulties she may encounter. Often this becomes a decisive factor in the issue of maintaining pregnancy.

Ideal age difference for children

The difference in age between the first and second child can play both a positive and negative role. If a married couple is planning the birth of their babies, then it is important to do this in such a way that the woman does not experience overload, so that the older and younger child quarrel less.

• With little difference between children, older children very often show childish jealousy. The eldest child's dependence on the mother and connection with her is still very strong. Real competition begins between children for their parents' attention. Moreover, the smaller the difference between children, the stronger the negative manifestations will be. Parents will need a lot of patience to smooth out all the rough edges, help their firstborn recover from his experiences and teach their children to cooperate. At the same time, with a small age difference, children become best friends.

• Most child psychologists consider the optimal difference between children to be 3-4 years old. But in practice, there are still cases of conflicts between children. At first the eldest child shows interest in the baby and strives to help the mother care for him. The child sees a role model in front of him and strives to follow him. But after a couple of years, conflicts begin. It turns out that the baby has already grown up enough and has learned to manipulate his parents and older brother or sister, and the first-born does not yet know how to approach disputes intelligently and is not able to compromise.

• With a difference of 7 years or more, there will, of course, be fewer conflicts, but at the same time, manifestations of childhood jealousy are still possible. The older child at this age is already much less attached to his mother, but this does not mean that he is already an adult. His sphere of interests is shifting to the outside world, he communicates more with friends, but the attention of his parents is also important to him. In this regard, the older child may not clearly show his tension; he has already learned to control his emotions. In this case, there is no need to force the child to love the younger one, but the parents themselves should try to maintain emotional closeness with him. Then there will be fewer conflicts between children.