When to have your second child

Gone are the days when babies were born when God willing. Most married couples now are planning the birth of babies. At the same time, if the birth of the first child occurs soon after marriage, then with the birth of the second child, most parents are in no hurry.

Best age to have a second child

Many women are in no hurry to have a second child for several reasons. These include a woman's health, family financial situation and psychological factor. The age of the woman is also important.

Earlier, in the Soviet years, it was generally accepted that the best time for the birth of a second baby was under the age of thirty. Of course, if the material well-being of the family allows you to raise two children without infringing on the interests of each, then you can hurry up with the birth of another baby. But as practice shows, after the birth of their first child, modern women prefer self-development and building a career.

In some ways, this approach is reasonable. A woman can take place socially, improve her financial situation and approach motherhood more responsibly. In this case, the second pregnancy is planned deliberately.

The changed realities of life are also pushing for the birth of a child at the age of 35. The level of medicine has become much higher. It became possible to identify in the early stages all kinds of pathologies and take into account different risks.

• At this age, a woman has enough health to carry a child on her own without complications.
• The financial situation of a married couple at the age of 35 is quite stable and strong.
• The woman has experience of motherhood. Most likely, the first child in the family has already grown up enough to provide all possible assistance in caring for a brother or sister.

Many women decide on a second pregnancy at a later age and postpone the birth of a baby for 40 or even 45 years. Of course, pregnancy at a later age requires careful preparation - you need a complete health examination, careful monitoring of pregnancy and the parents' readiness for possible complications.

But even at this age you can give birth a wonderful healthy baby, and there are many examples of this. Some women only become mothers for the first time in their 40s. It all depends on your desire and financial capabilities. When giving birth to a child after the age of 40, a woman approaches motherhood responsibly. She perfectly understands the difficulties she may face. This often becomes a decisive factor in maintaining pregnancy.

The ideal age difference of children

The difference in the age of the first and second child can play both a positive and a negative role. If a married couple is planning the birth of their babies, then it is important to do this in such a way that the woman does not experience overload, so that the older and younger children quarrel less.

• With a small difference between children, older children very often show childhood jealousy. The dependence of the older child on the mother and the connection with her is still very strong. There is real competition between the children for the attention of their parents. Moreover, the smaller the difference between children, the stronger the negative manifestations will be. Parents will need a lot of patience to iron out any rough edges, help their firstborn recover from their worries, and teach their children to cooperate. At the same time, with a small age difference, children become best friends.

• Most child psychologists consider the optimal difference between children at 3-4 years old. But in practice, there are still cases of conflicts between children. Senior at first child shows interest in the baby, seeks to help his mother in caring for him. The kid sees in front of him an example to follow and seeks to reach for him. But after a couple of years, conflicts begin. It turns out that the baby has already grown up enough and learned to manipulate his parents and older brother or sister, and the first-born does not yet know how to reasonably approach disputes and is not able to compromise.

• With a difference of 7 years or more, there will be fewer conflicts, of course, but at the same time, manifestations of childish jealousy are still possible. The older child at this age is already much less attached to the mother, but this does not mean that he is already an adult. His sphere of interest is shifting to the outside world, he communicates more with friends, but the attention of his parents is also important to him. In this regard, the older child may not clearly show his tension, he has already learned to control his emotions. In this case, it is not necessary to impose on the child love for the younger, but to try the parents themselves to maintain emotional closeness with him. Then there will be fewer conflicts between children.