Love and infatuation - what are the differences?

The modern world tends to call all positive emotions towards a person of the opposite sex love. Be it attraction, sympathy or friendship. Let's try to figure out what love and falling in love are. What is the psychology of a loving person and a person in love and how to distinguish between these two feelings.

Signs of love

Of course, these two feelings are very similar to each other. Without love, real feelings cannot arise. Love is a long process that requires daily work on yourself and on relationships. To fall in love you need to know a person well, his character and habits.

Real feelings are characterized by the following signs:

1. Absolute confidence in the chosen one. If there is even the slightest doubt about his person or future life, this is no longer the same. A loving person declares with absolute confidence that he sees himself married to a partner. And in 50-100 years too.
2. Confusion when asked “Why do you love him?” Love cannot be for something. People don't like you for having beautiful hands and hair. They love him because he is the best, the one and only.
3. Forgetting the fact that there are other members of the opposite sex on this planet. A loved one is ideal by default, and, therefore, there are simply no others who are not ideal.
4. Next to your loved one you feel in your place. In complete safety and absolute comfort. “There are people whom you hug and understand - you are home.”
5. Daily work on yourself and relationships. Moreover, it must come from both participants in the process. If you wake up every day to become better for your chosen one, that's love.
6. Forgiveness. Accumulating grievances is a negative quality. It's only poisons our lives. But a truly loving person knows how to forgive and move on.
7. Teamwork skill. You and your significant other do everything well together, understand and complement each other perfectly. For example, renovation. Those who can make repairs together and not break up have passed the test of the strength of the relationship.
8. You feel good together, even if you just remain silent. Being a great conversationalist is, of course, good. But, if in moments of silence you feel uncomfortable in the company of this person, do not deceive yourself.
9. The desire to divide everything in half. Not only happiness, but also problems, money and so on.

Remember the words of the great Stanislavsky when he was asked what it means to love? He said, “Want to touch.” And he was absolutely right. It is also worth paying attention to the fact that a loving person always has serious intentions. And, therefore, he does things. Don't believe empty words.

Signs of falling in love

Falling in love, unlike love, is short-lived. This is a purely emotional feeling. Sympathy, a riot of hormones. By the way, the World Health Organization has recognized emotions towards another person as a disease. This disease is purely psychological in nature and is accompanied by the following dysfunctions of the body:

• mood swings;
• insomnia;
• absent-mindedness;
• confusion in thoughts;
• pressure surges;
• headaches;
• thoughtless actions.

The main signs of sympathy for another person:

1. You always want to be closer to the object of your sympathy.  People who feel sympathy always strive to shorten the distance. Accidentally sit closer, bend over.
2. Changing the timbre of the voice. A person who sympathizes, when addressing the object of sympathy, will definitely speak more tenderly, calmly, and quietly.
3. The desire to demonstrate your confidence. In the company of the object of sympathy, people behave relaxed and calm. As if showing “I am the one you need.”
4. If you constantly catch the eye of a representative of the opposite sex, most likely he is experiencing emotions towards you. The object of sympathy often evokes a feeling of aesthetic pleasure. In other words, when we feel sympathy, we always strive to admire the object.

Psychology of love

Our body produces different hormones at different times in our lives. And subsequently he himself creates the conditions for their further reproduction. That is, the choice of a partner is not accidental.

As mentioned above, love comes with time. After you get to know your partner, you will understand how he lives and is guided in his actions. But often people make the mistake of sincerely considering their feelings to be only their own. pathological fear loneliness. People are in constant fear of being rejected and therefore strive to assert themselves in every possible way, creating all sorts of inconveniences for their partner, trying to suppress him morally. The psychology of love has a very subtle basis and represents a whole set of factors.

Love has its own stages of development:

• sympathy;
• satiety with each other - a desire for freedom, a turning point;
• denial, manifested in fatigue, the desire to give up everything;
• tenderness, mutual care, the beginning of the emergence of true love;
• Love.

In every quarrel, you should ask yourself: am I okay with this person? Is this fight really important for our relationship? Do I want to be happy or right?

Psychology of falling in love

Of course, before love comes love, attraction, sympathy. But we choose the object of feelings guided by the subconscious. Often object of desire becomes a person who has something similar to his parents. Like a memory of a bright, warm childhood. We look for these traits in a partner to prolong unconditional happiness. Or, conversely, the other half is strictly opposite to the images in your head, if they are negative.

Under the influence hormones, we are getting better. More fun, luckier, more confident. Therefore, the state of falling in love is also very important for a person’s self-esteem. We seem to see ourselves through the eyes of the object of sympathy and seem ideal to ourselves. Falling in love can last for years until a person realizes that the image of a partner drawn in the head is fundamentally different from reality. Thus, falling in love is self-deception. And it can only be revealed by time spent together. If years later, having been tested by quarrels, everyday life and fading interest, disappointment does not occur, love arises.

Thus, our body arouses sympathy within itself. This is a combination of chemical factors that arise from the desire to receive the hormone, and psychological, at the subconscious level.

How to distinguish love from infatuation

So, falling in love differs from love in the following factors:

1. Selfishness. Love does not tolerate “pulling the blanket”; true feelings are aimed at the comfort of another. And your happiness is meant as the happiness of your other half.
2. Convention. Falling in love necessarily has some special feature in its priorities - a smile, a mole. Love perceives a person as whole.
3. Passion. Rarely does anyone manage to maintain raging passions during the stage of love. Therefore, if a couple hugs and kisses passionately all the time, most likely this is just the beginning.
4. Depth. True feelings don't go away. They can only grow stronger over time and take on new forms.
5. Self-sacrifice of one's interests if they interfere with one's soul mate. Sympathy does not imply such dedication.
6. Love is manifested in actions, caring for a partner.
7. The main companion of feelings is time. You can start talking about their occurrence only after a year of relationship. Provided that everything is also good for you together.