“You’ve been identified!”: how to recognize a manipulator

We have all at least once in our lives encountered people trying to influence us to achieve their own goals. By playing on our feelings, they manipulate us to achieve what they want. Such people are manipulators. How to recognize them and how to resist them?

Manipulator - who is he?

Analyze the behavior of your friends; perhaps among them there are those who shamelessly take advantage of you for their own selfish purposes. There are several types of manipulators:

• Dictators seek to influence their victims with orders and dominance. They often quote the statements of famous people in order to achieve submission with the help of someone else's authority.
• The opposite of dictators are wimps. Such people tend to get their way by demonstrating personal hypersensitivity. They often forget, prefer not to hear comments and remain passively silent.
• The calculator manipulator strives to keep everyone under control. At the same time, he himself does not hesitate to deceive and evade. Due to his penchant for deception, he suspects others of lying and double-checks them all the time.

• Sticky is a person who prefers to be in a dependent position. He wants to be surrounded by care and attention.
• A bully demonstrates his aggression, threatens, acts cruelly to others and thereby achieves what he wants.
• The opposite of a bully is a nice guy. He prefers to act by demonstrating exaggerated care and attention. The nice guy just smothers you with his love.
• A manipulative judge prefers to blame everyone, no one doesn't forgive, he is always full of indignation.
• The manipulator-defender uses the opposite methods. He is always tolerant of the mistakes of others and emphatically supports everyone.

How to recognize a manipulator

Determining that they want to take advantage of you is not so easy. After all, a manipulator always strives to hide his selfish intentions. He will weave a web around his victim until she herself gives him what she wants. It is not in the nature of a manipulator to act openly. But there are still several characteristic features by which you can recognize them.

Such people are always consistent. They adhere to the rule that once a person promises something, he must fulfill it. In this case, changed circumstances and other arguments are not taken into account. Manipulators often use information about the desires and needs of their victim, which allows them to achieve what they want. For example, hinting to a person that he has the opportunity to fulfill the victim’s long-standing desire, then bombarding him with your requests. The person begins to feel obligated and fulfills the wishes of the manipulator, paying for the promised benefits.

Manipulators love to exploit such positive human traits as decency and honesty, conscientiousness and integrity. A particularly favorite technique among manipulators is the exchange of pleasantries. Having done some little thing for his victim, for example, buying pies for lunch, the manipulator will definitely ask for a favor in return. Moreover, this response will necessarily be on a larger scale than the purchased pies. For example, a request to be on duty instead of him.

Signs of manipulation

The psychological pressure that a manipulator puts on you is very difficult to notice. You must listen to your feelings. The surest sign of manipulation is a feeling of guilt. You know that you are not doing anything wrong, but you still feel guilty when communicating with a person. This feeling is the first sign of manipulation. Be careful, they are trying to deceive you!

Another sure sign of a trap being set is a feeling of anxiety. You latently sense danger when talking with a seemingly nice interlocutor. These two feelings give rise to responsibility. You begin to realize your dependence on the manipulator, afraid lose his favor. As a result, you fulfill all his demands, trying to please him, sometimes contrary to your desires and benefits.

Protection against manipulation

Once you realize that you are being manipulated, try to take countermeasures that protect your interests. First, break contact with the manipulator. You can simply interrupt communication, thus avoiding an uncomfortable conversation.

Another way is to pretend not to understand. Thus, you will force the manipulator to more clearly explain the motives for his actions. You will achieve the same effect by directly asking the manipulator about his desire. Alternatively, you can voice this desire yourself if you have realized it. For example, ask the following question: “Do I understand correctly, you want to get me to...?”

If you are required to make an immediate decision, do not do it under any circumstances. Just take note of the information and save your decision for later. Don't follow your own lead excitement, always keep your own desires in sight, and stay away from overly kind offers.

A good way to protect yourself from manipulation is to refuse without explanation. Do not enter into arguments with the manipulator and do not explain to him the reasons for your refusal. This way you will give him a field for activity, and he will be able to entangle you in his web.