"You've been identified!": How to recognize a manipulator

All of us at least once in our lives have come across people trying to influence us in order to achieve their own goals. Playing on our feelings, they manipulate us to achieve what they want. Such people are manipulative. How to recognize them and how to resist them?

Man manipulator - who is he

Analyze the behavior of your acquaintances, perhaps among them there are those who shamelessly use you for their own selfish purposes. There are several types of manipulators in total:

• Dictators seek to influence their victim with orders, domination. They often cite the statements of famous people in order to achieve submission with the help of someone else's authority.
• Rags are the opposite of dictators. Such people tend to achieve their goal by demonstrating personal hypersensitivity. They often forget, prefer not to hear comments and passively remain silent.
• The manipulator calculator seeks to keep everyone under control. At the same time, he himself does not hesitate to deceive and evade. Due to his tendency to deception, he also suspects others of lies and checks all the time.

• Sticking is a person who prefers to be in a dependent position. He wants to be surrounded with care and attention.
• The bully demonstrates his aggression, threatens, acts cruelly with others and thus achieves what he wants.
• The antipode of a bully is a nice guy. He prefers to act with a demonstration of exaggerated care and attention. A nice guy just chokes with his love.
• The manipulator-judge prefers to blame everyone, nobody does not forgive, he is always full of resentment.
• The manipulator-defender acts by opposite methods. He is always condescending to the mistakes of others and emphatically supports everyone.

How to recognize a manipulator

Determining what they want to use you is not easy. After all, the manipulator always seeks to hide his selfish intent. He will weave a web around his victim until she herself presents him with what he wants. To act openly is not in the nature of a manipulator. But still, there are several characteristic features by which you can recognize them.

Such people are always consistent. They adhere to the rule that once a person has promised something, he must fulfill it. In this case, changed circumstances and other arguments are not taken into account. Manipulators often use information about the desires and needs of their victim, which allows them to achieve what they want. For example, hinting to a person that he has the opportunity to fulfill a long-standing desire of the victim, then bombard him with his requests. The person begins to feel obligated and fulfills the wishes of the manipulator, paying for the promised benefits.

Manipulators are very fond of exploiting such positive traits of a person as decency and honesty, conscientiousness and adherence to principles. A particularly beloved technique for manipulators is the exchange of pleasantries. Having done some trifle for his victim, for example, having bought pies for lunch, the manipulator will certainly ask for a return service. Moreover, this response will necessarily be of a larger scale than the purchased pies. For example, a request to be on duty instead of him.

Signs of manipulation

The psychological pressure exerted on you by a manipulator is very difficult to notice. You must listen to your feelings. The surest sign of manipulation is guilt. You know that you are not doing anything wrong, but everyone feels guilty when communicating with a person. This sensation is the first sign of manipulation. Be careful, they are trying to deceive you!

Another sure sign of a trap being set is anxiety. You latently sense the danger when talking with a seemingly sweet interlocutor. These two feelings give rise to responsibility. You become aware of your dependence on the manipulator, are afraid lose his favor. As a result, you fulfill all his requirements, trying to please him, sometimes contrary to your desires and benefits.

Anti-manipulation protection

After realizing that they are trying to manipulate you, try to take retaliatory measures that protect your interests. First, break contact with the manipulator. You can simply interrupt communication, thus avoiding an uncomfortable conversation.

Another way is to pretend not to understand. Thus, you force the manipulator to more clearly explain the motives for their actions. You can achieve the same effect by directly asking the manipulator about his desire. Alternatively, you can voice this desire yourself, if you figured it out. For example, ask the following question: "I understand correctly, do you want to get from me ...?"

If you are required to make an immediate decision, under no circumstances do this. Just take note of the information and postpone the decision for later. Do not follow your lead excitement, always keep your own desires in sight, stay away from overly kind suggestions.

A good way to protect yourself from manipulation is to refuse without explanation. Do not argue with the manipulator and do not explain to him the reasons for your refusal. So you will give him a field for activity, and he will be able to entangle you with his web.