"Do not come near me, I am offended!": How to learn to forgive

Each of us has experienced anger, resentment and disappointment at one time or another. A loved one or just an acquaintance betrayed, broke a promise or hurt with words. Negative emotions cover us headlong. It would be nice to forget and forgive everything, but this does not always work out that way. Pain and resentment make us unhappy, distract from work, and interfere with communication with friends. You must learn to forgive and let go of resentment. Of course, this will not change the abuser, but it will allow you to go further towards the positive.

How to stop getting angry

Anger brings nothing but negative emotions. Serious incidents are not always the cause of fits of rage; often we get angry over little things or no reason at all. Self-control in these moments decreases, you can say or do something that you will regret later. But the moment is missed, relationships with friends and colleagues are deteriorating.

If you suppress anger and hatred all the time, they can cause nervous system disorders or other diseases. Therefore, it is very important to be able to control your emotions and stop getting angry over little things. Here are some proven tips to help you feel less angry:

• Try to mark the moment when you start to get angry. It is easier to calm down and cool down when negative emotions arise.
• If you anticipate a fit of anger, breathe deeply and slowly. Count to 10 and you will feel yourself starting to calm down.
• Turn on an inner voice that tells you that you are calm and do not want to be angry.
• Physical work or sports training can help reduce negative emotions. Go for a run, jump rope, or do some spring cleaning. Adrenaline in your blood will fill you with strength, you will do a lot of useful things. By shifting your attention, you will not be able to get angry any further.
• Let off steam. You can box a pillow, smash an old mug, or swear loudly. By splashing out your emotions, you will become calmer.
• For serious, lingering problems, write on a piece of paper anything that makes you angry. On the one hand, this will allow you to understand the seriousness of the issue, on the other hand, some of the negativity will go away.
• Turn on bright lights, your favorite music, or a fun movie in your room. Replace negative emotions with positive ones with the help of your favorite things, delicious food, pleasant aromas.
• Take a shower. The contrast of temperatures will invigorate, the water will wash away fatigue, stress and anger. She cleanse not only the body, but also the soul.

If you didn't manage to deal with anger the first time, continue to practice self-control. Rejoice and reward yourself for even the smallest victories over anger.

How to learn to forgive and let go

You need to learn to forgive first of all for yourself. Resentment is a burden in the soul, it interferes with eating and sleeping normally, all thoughts return to her. Letting go of the offense, you will become calmer, you will return to a good mood. How can you learn to forgive offenders? Try to think like this:

1. First, understand what is the reason for your resentment. Go back in your head and look at the situation calmly. Probably, it is not at all serious, and the negative turned out under the influence of emotions. In this case, it will be quite simple to forgive the offender.
2. Give an outlet for aggression and negativity. Use sports training, outdoor walks, or physical gardening, housework. Fatigue will replace resentment.
3. Find motives for your abuser's behavior. Perhaps you have different views on friendship or friendship. You find it unacceptable to communicate, which is absolutely acceptable to him. Or his upbringing, which differs from the traditions and principles of your family, affects. Dealing with your motives can help you distinguish unintentional resentment.
4. Tell the abuser about your feelings. Do not expect that he himself will understand everything and come with an apology. He may not even know what happened.
5. Evaluate your own behavior from the outside. In a conflict, usually two parties are to blame. Maybe it was you who provoked the negativity or aggression. In a marital relationship, the key to peace is open communication and understanding.
6. You shouldn't come up with a revenge plan. Often, it turns against us. Whenever thoughts of revenge come to mind, shift your focus. Or mentally embody your ideas, you will see the defeated offender and are unlikely to feel satisfaction.

Having a deep understanding of the reasons for resentment will make it easier for you to forgive and let go of negative emotions.

How to become kinder and easier

Oddly enough, but we ourselves are the culprit of many troubles in our life. Therefore, you need to work on yourself in order to be able to control emotions, turn negative into positive. Understand that you are the smith of your own happiness. Take responsibility for your life and communication. If we take a passive position, then we have to constantly be under the influence of other people. When we ourselves manage our lives, we feel completely different emotions: satisfaction, joy, self-realization.

Instead of waiting for love and friendship from others, think about "what I can do myself to get better." Learn to be the first to show your love and friendly participation, then people will be kinder and more attentive to you. Don't let fatigue or work problems make you petty, irritable. Instead of arguing with your family, turn on an interesting movie or take a bath. You will rest and calm down, you will not find fault with trifles, but you will be glad that your loved ones are healthy and next to you. Share your warmth with others, do not refuse to help those in need. The boomerang principle operates in life, all good things will definitely come back.