Mutual understanding: how to achieve it

How often do we enter into a relationship, fully confident that we have common interests and aspirations with our partner. And how great disappointment can be when we realize that this is not at all the case. The most important thing in a family is mutual understanding, but it is precisely this that we miss most of all.

Reasons for disagreement

Disagreements happen between all people, including between spouses. It must be remembered that this is absolutely normal and be prepared for possible conflicts.

There are several important reasons for disagreement and conflict:

• Different interests. For example, you like noisy companies and fun parties, and your husband is an adherent of quiet relaxation in a calm home environment. All your attempts to get him on vacation with cheerful friends end in failure and another quarrel.
• Power Struggle. Usually, in the event of a conflict, one of the two consciously compromises his opinion, concedes. This is done in order to settle the conflict and find peace of mind in a couple. But it's impossible to do this all the time, in the end it comes moment when there is no strength to constantly agree and the conflict flares up with renewed vigor.
• Family budget. Usually conflicts over money arise in families when one of the spouses does not work. In this case, the need to constantly ask for money for household expenses and for their personal needs leads to conflicts.
• Vain expectations. Usually, in a state of love, we endow our soul mate with qualities that he may not have, we idealize the image. And over time, this pink veil begins to subside and the true qualities of a partner come to light. Often what we see disappoints us and leads to disagreement.

How rapport develops

Understanding of the desires and motives of the partner's actions arises only in people who have fully studied each other's character. To do this, you need to constantly communicate, show a sincere interest in what is happening in the life of another person. For mutual understanding to come to your couple, you need to pay more attention to your partner, no matter how trite it may sound. More often put yourself in the shoes of your significant other, try to understand the motives of his actions and words. To do this, you will be helped by observing facial expressions, intonation and gestures. Sometimes they will tell you a lot more than just words.

However, remember that mutual understanding will come to your couple only if your partner is also interested in this. If he has other interests, then you are unlikely to be able to achieve harmony in the relationship.

Mutual understanding of people - how to achieve

Any good communication between people starts with mutual respect. Just accept for yourself the fact that any person is an accomplished person with their own character, mood and tastes. The easiest way to establish communication is by starting a conversation about the interests of the interlocutor. So you will help the person to open up to you from a new side.

Train yourself to have an open conversation, expressing only your own opinion. At the same time, make it clear to the interlocutor that your opinion is not an axiom. He can and should have his own judgment in any situation. Do not blame or generalize, do not remember past mistakes.

Learn to listen to the person with empathy. Don't pull the covers over yourself by saying that you too have experienced the same situation. You have a different character, temperament and attitude towards life. Therefore, you cannot feel the same in this or that problem.

Do not place any of your hopes on the person. This will save you from disappointment in the future.

Mutual understanding in the family

First, take it for granted that people cannot read another person's mind. Therefore, stop talking in hints, this will only aggravate the conflict situation. Learn to speak openly and clearly about your desires and problems.

Do not speak in an orderly tone and do not raise your voices. Otherwise, you will never reach an understanding. During a quarrel, each of the parties has one task - to prove to the interlocutor that he is wrong and win the dispute. In such a situation, all the arguments of the opponent are swept aside, even the most convincing ones.

Do not make your spouse too demanding or expect much from him. Perhaps your desires are an irresistible height for your partner.

Consider the desires of the other side. It is only natural for your partner to expect something from you as well. Most of the mutual understanding depends on the ability to respect the wishes of the partner.

How to find rapport quickly

It is quite understandable the desire of one of the spouses to smooth out the conflict, to make a concession, to bend somewhere, to yield somewhere and give up his desire. On the one hand, it would seem that this is what it is - mutual understanding. The conflict is over. But in fact, the opposite situation occurs. The constant trampling on one's own interests leads to the fact that in the depths of the soul, resentment against a partner, discontent grows. Sooner or later, a person no longer feels the strength to endure it longer and explodes.

In order to prevent such an option for the development of relations, adhere to several rules:

• Give each other freedom. Do not constantly control your partner, let him be alone with you, sometimes take a break from each other in the company of friends or girlfriends.
• Don't try to change the character of your other half. Try to accept your spouse with all his flaws.
• Do not hold a grudge in yourself. Be sure to speak out all conflict situations. Remember that silence is not the solution to the problem.
• Spend more time together. If you have too different interests, try going to the movies together or read the same book as your significant other. You will have a common topic for discussion. Communication and joint leisure will bring closer and help establish mutual understanding.
• Do not carry to family problems at work... Do not dump your negative mood on your spouse with increased aggression.
• Try to support your other half if problems arise. He should feel your support in a difficult situation, at least moral.

Remember that mutual understanding is a difficult job of two people, and not an attempt to remake a person for yourself or to re-educate him. Truly understanding people accept each other with all the advantages and disadvantages.