How to forget the past and is it worth doing at all

Each of us has had situations in life that is still painful and difficult to remember, and no matter how much time has passed, unhappy love or the death of a loved one is not released, delivering mental anguish over and over again. Any psychologist will say that living in the past means forever closing the door to a new, happy future, you need to learn lessons and forever leave difficult moments only unpleasant memories. In words, everything is easy, but how do such methods work in practice? How to forget the past and live in the present?

How to forget the past

Simple ways to get rid of past memories:

• The first thing you need to do is get rid of things that remind you of your old life. It doesn't matter if you throw them away or give them away, the main thing is that they will never again catch your eye. It's another matter if the memories are associated with a certain place or event, then just do not visit it or leave the city altogether for a while, until the negative moments of the past disappear from your head. The same rule applies to people - by all means avoid meeting a person, so as not to reopen emotional wounds.
• Time indeed heals. While the process is going on, try to load yourself as much as possible with business, work, go out as often as possible, meet with friends, go on dates. It is not known how long the rehabilitation will take, but gradually the events of the past will fade and fade from memory, most importantly, do not withdraw into yourself.
• Bring novelty and brightness to your life - change the environment, go on vacation, spend some time on the seashore or just at the dacha. If this is not possible, just change the wallpaper or curtains in the apartment. Along with new events and changes in life, you yourself will change.
• Set a goal for yourself, the more difficult it is, the more you will immerse yourself in everyday worries, the more effort it will take to overcome difficulties. Building a career, organizing your own business, learning a foreign language - any goals are good for starting a new life.
• Remember that forgetting the past completely is unlikely to work. It can only be rethought and released, but many people are afraid to change and change the world around them. Finally, decide that you want to be happy and write a list of what will help you with this. Please yourself, bring as much positive as possible into your present.

More complex psychological techniques and advice on how to forget the past:

• Try to use your imagination and create an imaginary collage of your life in your head. In the middle, place happy and pleasant moments, big and small victories - a successful graduation from the institute, sports achievements, a date with a loved one, a wedding, the birth of children, the first day at your favorite job, the first word of your baby. Between these events, let there be everyday events, albeit unimportant, but joyful - sunny weather, delicious dinner, going to the cinema, meeting with friends. And at the very bottom of the conditional collage there will be those memories from the past that haunt you. Now take a look at the picture of your life, how bright it turned out, and how little space this sad event takes on it. Supplement the collage with pictures that will fill your future and then the negative will almost completely hide among them.
• Another method of immersion in past- Imagine yourself sitting in a large cinema among many spectators, and unpleasant pictures of your past are shown on the screen, look at it as something that is not related to you, abstract, scroll the episode as a black and white movie again. Does the past matter to your future and present?
• Often, psychologists advise using a simple but effective method, it is called dianetics, the author of this technique argued that he was able to reduce the influence of unwanted emotions and sensations, as well as fears. It is necessary to scroll the event in your head many times and listen at this time to your own feelings, until they become blurry, and then completely disappear.
• Our memory is arranged in such a way that most of the positive memories from it disappear over time, and the negative remains for a long time. But it is interesting that many events take on a sad shade only because of our subjective assessment. Parting with a loved one can be perceived as a real tragedy, shattered dreams of a family. But if you look at the situation from the other side? After all, the breakup has already happened, which means the relationship was not strong, is it worth saving when the future is so vague? Consider yourself not abandoned, but liberated, there is a lot of joy ahead, new events, people and emotions.
• It is impossible to start a new life without putting an end to the past, and this can be done only by one method - forgiveness. Let go of all your grievances, they pull you to the bottom and do not allow you to breathe deeply, this will be the starting point in a happy present and bright future.

How to live in the present

We often say the phrase “Live here and now”, but can we apply this motto in practice? Most live in rosy dreams of the future or constantly remembering the events of the past, which are not allowed to realize themselves in the present, are not allowed to enjoy life. Here are some techniques, it is easy to apply them, they will teach you how to enjoy every moment.

• Changing the way of thinking. Be aware of yourself in the present, do not look far into the future and do not look back at the past. Your task is to direct your thoughts to the present in order to become more attentive to the world around you. Pay attention to the little things, look out the window and see how the trees sway in the wind, and a cat sits on the bench and squints against the bright sun, watch birds and passers-by. Such simple actions will lead you to true awareness of yourself in the present.
• Don't let your thoughts fears and experiences to rule you. We sometimes think too much, too much in thought, to notice anything around us. Don't plan too much ahead of time. Of course, you need to think about the future, but many things happen apart from our desire and will, better concentrate on the present day. An even more useless exercise is worrying about the past, it is left behind and cannot be changed.
• Self-criticism is essential to get ahead, but don't overdo it. Imagine that you are on a date with a nice man, you feel calm and well, and suddenly you start thinking how you look at this moment, are you laughing and talking too loudly, at this moment thoughts begin to control the person and he stops enjoying the moment. During sad times in your life, do what you do best to keep self-criticism to a minimum.
• When tragic events occur, accept them with dignity. Feel pain and worries in the same way as others and emotions, do not try to run away from them, this is just part of the present. But time will pass and they will turn into memories, your task is not to allow them to influence the further course of events.
• Do not set yourself many tasks, this reduces the effectiveness of the result. It is better to concentrate on a single goal, try to always finish the task and do not move on to the next one until you complete it.
• Concentrate on unimportant events and have fun with it. While in nature, close your eyes and feel the beauty of the world through smell, touch and hearing, try to mentally imagine a picture of everything that is in front of you. Then open your eyes and compare reality with your own feelings.
• Pay attention to the world around you - on the way to work, look at people and try to guess their thoughts, follow the news and events in the world, do not pass someone else's troubles or problems if you have the opportunity to help.
• Any kind of physical activity, including sex, will allow you to feel a whole range of emotions at the moment, because they require increased concentration of attention.

Forgetting the past - or maybe not worth it

Is it really necessary to forget the events of the past, or should we periodically return to them? There is no definite answer, there are only options. Someone is sure that the past is a part of their life, moreover, a significant one, the lessons and conclusions that it allows to draw will be very useful in the present and the future. Elderly people, as a rule, more and more often remember the time when they were young and happy, they live in these memories.

There are also many supporters of "burning bridges", they boldly look into the future and do not want the past to pull them back. In practice, starting life from scratch can be difficult, it requires great willpower and mental strength, because it is necessary to let go of all resentments, regrets and worries, to erase people and events from the memory.

And someone did not decide for themselves what to do with this unbearable burden, past life. Time after time they try to start it on Monday or new year, but they never dare to leave it outside the door. In this case, there are only two ways out - either to learn to peacefully coexist with your past, without perceiving it as something tragic, or to plunge headlong into a new life, where there will be no time and desire to delve into old grievances.

Before you close the old door and open a new one, once again analyze all the events, mentally thank those who were next to you in your past life. Be grateful even to difficult times, because they made you stronger, helped you realize the importance of events, taught you patience. In the end, without the events of the past, there would be no present, such as it is now.