Is the age difference a blessing or a utopia?

Marriages, where there is a small or significant age difference between the spouses, have always been, and now, perhaps, they are more common. There is no guarantee that the couple will maintain a relationship, but this is influenced not only by age, but also by character, temperament and many other factors. Scientists and psychologists, however, have identified some features of marriages, where there is a large age difference between the spouses.

Age difference between a man and a woman

There are experts who believe that the ideal difference is 5-6 years, and some do not even want to recognize age as something important. Although society sometimes condemns young girls who jump out to marry an old man, or vice versa, a guy who has linked his life with an experienced lady, we can name several cases of successful unions of famous people. And neither the articles of experienced psychologists, nor human gossip do not prevent them from being happy, raising children and living more friendly than many other couples.

But whatever one may say, for ourselves and our loved ones we would like to be more equal in age marriages... It is unlikely that anyone's parents will be happy to know that their beloved daughter has linked life with a person 20 years older than her. And we ourselves, in the process of searching for a life partner, try to pay attention to our peers, fearing some problems and pitfalls.

If the woman is older

The model - a wife is much older than her husband is not very common, if a man is usually proud of his young second half, then, as for the fair sex, not everyone will dare to take such a bold step, fearing condemnation of loved ones or complexing in front of a younger spouse.

• If the age difference between a man and a woman is no more than 3 years, then this, more often than not, is even imperceptible. In any case, people of the same generation enter into marriage, they grew up on the same music, films, brought them up about the same. A young man slightly younger than his chosen one will try by all means to prove that he is the head of the family.
• The difference of 6-10 years is more common in people who decide to marry after 30 years. They are completely self-sufficient and are aware of their actions. The difference in interests and hobbies is already more tangible, but not critical, such families may well be happy, provided that the lady is confident in herself, monitors her appearance and the couple's sexual preferences coincide. A woman of Balzac's age is still fresh and beautiful, she tries to match her young spouse and is able to show worldly wisdom where young people throw a tantrum and provoke a conflict. Ladies in such a marriage are most often able to provide for themselves completely and to some extent. dominate the chosen one due to life experience, they are less picky and more loyal to shortcomings. Quite often, people of different ages have quarrels based on jealousy, however, you need to fight this in every possible way and not show your inner complexes.
• Families where the wife is 10-15 years older than her husband are quite rare, yet there are already a number of contradictions and problems in mutual understanding. A woman begins to grow old before her young chosen one, and he, in turn, loses sexual interest in her. Even if the couple has strong feelings, conflicts based on jealousy will inevitably arise and become more acute. Fearing to lose a loved one, sometimes a woman tries to keep everything under total control, which sooner or later will bore the man. Despite all this, the same outlook on life, moral values ​​and the ability to find a compromise will play a decisive role.
• A difference of 15-20 years or more seems to most people to be absolutely impossible. If feelings between people are mutual, then this is probably not sincere love, but just passion. For example, if a woman and a young guy have a holiday romance, but both understand that the relationship will be short-lived. When it comes to marriage, the stumbling block is often the material well-being of a mature woman, expensive gifts or other financial benefits. In any case, the lady needs to give up attempts to dominate her husband, otherwise he will feel paired not with a wise and experienced woman, but with a domineering "mommy".

If a man is older

• For building relationships at a young age, the optimal age difference is considered to be 2 years (a girl is younger), since there is an opinion that a woman develops psychologically faster than her partner. The fair sex does not see in the face of their peers the support and support that they need to create a family. Closer to the age of 30, this difference is gradually smoothed out.
• Psychologists assure that it would be ideal if the spouse was 5-6 years older than his chosen one. This is due to the relative maturity of a man, which is reached between 30 and 40. Boys have been told since childhood that they need to get on their feet before getting married, which is why young men do not rush to the registry office, but, having decided on a serious step, prefer to choose women younger than them. Young people already have a certain experience, a material base, and a woman recognizes his authority. In such families, children are often born and both parents take part in their upbringing, marriages are strong enough and spouses can achieve understanding in many issues.
• Marriages where a man is 10-15 years older than his wife has recently become a trend. No one is surprised at this anymore, because the spouse in this case treats the woman condescendingly and knows how to smooth out the rough edges in conflicts. He is no longer as susceptible to emotions as in his youth and is able to soberly assess the situation.
• A husband, who is 20 years older than his half, sometimes treats her like a capricious child, fulfilling all requests and requirements, he, in turn, flatters the presence of a young lady, because he is fueled by her energy and becomes younger himself. Society turns a blind eye to such misalliances, understanding young girls who are attracted by their position in society and financial well-being. Conflicts in similar marriages can arise precisely on this basis, an adult man sometimes does not completely trust a young beauty, fearing for his wallet.

Age difference: pros and cons

It is difficult to analyze the relationship of couples with a large age difference, because the opinion of any person is subjective and relies only on their own vision and life experience. But let's try to understand the main advantages and disadvantages of unequal marriage.

When a man is older

Pros:

• If a mature man chooses an inexperienced young girl as his wife, then he is initially ready to be her support and protection from all the hardships of life. A woman feels confident and comfortable next to such a person.
• A senior partner can teach the chosen one something new, transfer knowledge and make joint leisure more exciting than he would be with a peer.
• For some young people, material well-being is the main criterion for choosing a mature husband, most often they get exactly this in return for their beauty and youth.
• Of course, the absence of betrayals, no one guarantees, but their likelihood decreases when a young beautiful wife is waiting for a man at home.

Minuses:

• Whatever feelings unite two people, different tastes for music, films, literature and ways of spending leisure time can become an obstacle to happiness.
• Relatives and friends may try to dissuade you from associating life with a man much older, you will have to prepare a number of arguments "for" in advance.
• Most likely, a mature boyfriend has ex-wives or children from previous marriages, this will have to be reconciled.
• With age, male libido decreases, this is a problem if the girl enjoys regular sex.

When a woman is older

Pros:

• In an intimate sense, a woman blooms a little later, so it is likely that with a younger spouse she will find understanding in the question of the frequency of sex.
• Next to an attractive young guy, a lady herself will feel younger, flourishing before her eyes and having a good incentive to take care of her appearance and figure.
• A more experienced and wise woman is able to direct a young lover in the right direction, prompting and advising how to act in a given situation.

Minuses:

• Female jealousy can stifle a relationship from the very beginning. It is difficult to remain calm when young people are hovering around your man, but you should not limit him in communication, you need to become better yourself.
• Society is not yet ready to calmly look at such unions, get ready for different opinions from others, including condemnation.
• It is likely that sooner or later the young man will mature and demand to give him the reins of government in marriage.