Happy marriage: myth or reality

Sooner or later, the relationship comes to a stage marriage... Going to the registry office, the newlyweds, enveloped in passion and love, do not think about what awaits them after the happy holidays. The onset of boring, monotonous everyday life is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. Happiness leaves the ship of love and soon the newlyweds again go to the palace of celebrations, but for the dissolution of the marriage. Such an ending can be avoided, but for this you need to constantly work both on relationships and on yourself. What needs to be done to marriage truly happy?

How to make your marriage happy

To solve any problem, you first need to find out its causes. Soviet sociologist Sergei Golod conducted a study among marriages with six years of experience. According to its results, the main reason why people do not end a relationship is habit, followed by common interests and children. It is noticeable that there is no question of love. Although this very feeling is the main reason for a happy marriage.

Love, as many believe, is a gift from God... Our actions can both increase and decrease this feeling. Once people got married, it means they had something more than falling in love, and therefore they have something to bring up. Whether love will warm and protect the family depends only on the husband and wife, or rather on their actions and behavior.

Happy marriage, as mentioned above, is love, harmony and affectionate relations between spouses.

To make the marriage really happy, you can come up with an interesting ritual or ceremony, which over time will become an irreplaceable part of life together. Also, when getting married, realize that now you are not alone, which means that every action or action you take must be coordinated with your loved one. Learn to distribute family budget together, otherwise there will be fights due to different views on costs. Learn to listen and respect each other.

Happy relationships from the side of psychology

After the sociologists went American psychologist John Gotman, who decided to conduct his own research in which about 700 couples took part. For ten years, he observed and made his own predictions for the "shelf life" of the union. The psychologist was recording the dialogue lovers during a quarrel, he was interested in studying how couples behave during a conflict.

It turned out that within two years, couples have been divorced who have mutual criticism, whose relationship is filled with hatred and anger. Next, in the divorce rating, there are “zero” relationships, in which there is no hatred, rudeness and joy towards each other - such a union ends after seven years together.

Relationships in which people were able to establish emotional balance, any problem can be turned into a joke, they will live together much longer than others.

Research that tried to find the "ingredient" of family happiness began in the distant seventies. All of them were aimed at revealing the secret recipe for a happy relationship. This continued until the moment when experts looked at marriage as an ever-changing process. A happy union is not just a joint framed photo, it is a mutual reward for your efforts for the sake of a relationship.

American psychologist D. Wallerstein revealed the secrets of a happy marriage:

• for the entire time of life together, each partner should get away from the imposed stereotypes of marriage, not take over parental relationships on their own, in general, create a unique cell with a loved one;
• establish a sexual relationship with a partner, abandoning children's taboos and fears;
• learn to support a soul mate in all problems and adversities;
• to the last to see the partner from both sides - the way he is and the way he was at the beginning of the relationship;
• create a calm and trusting relationship with each other, where you can speak out for any problem.

Keeping balance in relationship with a loved one, in return you will get something more - understanding, trust and love.

Happy marriage - is it really there?

Summing up the above, it is safe to say that there is a happy marriage. This is proved by repeated sociological and psychological experiments and, of course, empirical observations. The main thing to remember is that marriage is not “khukhry-mukhry”, but constant work that requires a lot of strength and energy. You should not run to the registry office at the first call in anticipation of a wonderful and happy life, think over your every step and action.