Happy marriage: myth or reality

Sooner or later the relationship reaches the stage marriage. Going to the registry office, the newlyweds, wrapped in passion and love, do not think about what awaits them after the happy holidays.  The onset of boring, monotonous everyday life is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. Happiness leaves the ship of love and soon the recently newlyweds again go to the palace of celebrations, but this time for a divorce. Such an ending can be avoided, but to do this you need to constantly work both on the relationship and on yourself. What needs to be done to marriage truly happy?

How to make your marriage happy

To solve any problem, you first need to find out its causes.  Soviet sociologist Sergei Golod conducted a study among marriages with six years of experience. According to its results, the main reason why people do not end relationships is habit, followed by common interests and children. It is noticeable that there is no talk of love. Although this feeling is the main reason for a happy marriage.

Love, as many believe, is a gift from God. Our actions can either increase or decrease this feeling. Since people got married, it means they had something more than falling in love, which means they have something to nurture. Whether love will warm and protect the family depends only on the husband and wife, or rather on their actions and behavior.

Happy marriage, as mentioned above, is love, harmony and affectionate relationships between spouses.

To make a marriage truly happy, you can come up with an interesting ritual or ceremony that over time will become an indispensable part of life together. Also, when getting married, realize that now you are not alone, which means that every action you take must be in agreement with your loved one. Learn to distribute family budget together, otherwise quarrels will arise due to different views on expenses. Know how to listen and respect each other.

Happy relationships from psychology

Following the sociologists was the American psychologist John Gottman, who decided to conduct his own study in which about 700 couples took part. For ten years, he observed and made his own predictions about the “shelf life” of the union. The psychologist recorded the dialogue lovers during a quarrel, he was interested in studying how couples behave during a conflict.

It turned out that within two years, couples who have mutual criticism, whose relationships are filled with hatred and anger, get divorced. Next in the divorce ranking are “zero” relationships, in which there is no hatred, rudeness or joy towards each other - such a union ends after seven years lived together.

Relationships in which people were able to establish emotional balance, any problem can be turned into a joke, will live together much longer than others.

Research that tried to find the “ingredient” of family happiness began back in the seventies. All of them were aimed at revealing the secret recipe for happy relationships. This continued until experts looked at marriage as an ever-changing process. A happy union is not just a joint photo in a frame, it is a mutual reward for your efforts for the sake of the relationship.

American psychologist D. Wallerstein revealed the secrets of a happy marriage:

• During the entire period of their life together, each partner must break away from the imposed stereotypes of marriage, not take over parental relationships for their own, in general, create a unique unit with their loved one;
• establish sexual relationships with a partner, abandoning childhood taboos and fears;
• learn to support your significant other in all problems and adversities;
• to the last, see your partner from both sides - the way he is, and the way he was at the beginning of the relationship;
• create a calm and trusting relationship with each other, where you can talk it out with any problem.

Maintaining balance in relationship with a loved one, in return you will receive something more - mutual understanding, trust and love.

Happy marriage - does it really exist?

Summarizing the above, we can say with confidence that a happy marriage exists. This is proven by repeated sociological and psychological experiments and, of course, experimental observations. The main thing to remember is that marriage is not “hukhry-mukhry”, but constant work that requires a lot of strength and energy. You shouldn’t run to the registry office at the first call in anticipation of a wonderful and happy life; think about your every step and action.